Melaka, Melaka <3

Just reached home and just had my bath :) Had loads of fun today at the tourney with Shman, Sehran, Evo, Jayhan and my bro, amidst all the injuries, mistakes, losses and all ;D

And now, imma sleep! Nights, world! :D

Personality Test :D

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Hm. 

If I Have To Go,

I want to have lived a life that mattered :)

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On the other mengada hand,

Today, walking past Snogurt after lunch, on the way back to college for CF with Brian and Brendan, I saw this VERY familiar-looking Indian guy. I stared, and then I realized who it was- DINESH, my close primary sch friend whom I hadn't seen in 5 YEARS. He didn't recognize me at first, but when he noticed me staring, it hit him also :P And then i started squealing. 'OMGGGGGGGGGGG' *insert high pitched squeal* Heheheheh :P And then he just hugged me. OHEMGEE, REUNION AFTER 5 YEARS KAY 5 YEARS :') He still remembers how I used to make fun of him cuz he WAS shorter than me, and now -.- And how I used to pinch him till he'd get bruises :P Hahahah.

Oh gosh, that felt so good :'D

Heh.
:D

Oops.

Slip of the tongue.

Memories, sigh. Past mistakes, the past which never should've been brought up.
Oops?

Best Friends ;)

Shman's definition:
Best friends are meant to torture each other.

SO TRUE :'D

God Knows.

I stumbled upon this poem, so here I am to share :D

God Knows.

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless effort,

God knows how hard you've tried.

When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish,

God has counted your tears.

When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn,

God has a solution.

When you're lonely and all your friends are busy even for a phone call,

God is by your side.

When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated,

God has the answer.

If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope,

God has whispered to you.

If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by,

God is waiting with you.

When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for, 

God has blessed you.

When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe,

God has smiled upon you.

When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow, 

God has opened your eyes and called you by name.

Remember that wherever you are or whatever you're facing,

GOD KNOWS.

Ain't it beautiful? :)

Wherever you are or whatever you're facing, God knows.

Lil Miss Immature :P

Wardrobe Malfunction.

I finally wore the flats I bought, after yearssssss of leaving them rotting in the storeroom. I FINALLY remember why I never wore them, they hurt. But no choice, since I can't wear my sneakers- injured myself during taekwando :/ And guess what? Wardrobe malfunction. During LAN class, I realized that the sole was coming off. And it did, while I was walking to Physics Lab :( And since the other side was also cabut-ing, I just pulled it off as well. I thought that it was fine, but I WAS WRONG. Because of certain reasons, lunch today was just me, Lean Loong and kor kor :/ On the way, I realized the solewhichwasn'treallyasole came off. As well. DANGGGGGG. So yeah, I kicked off my flats and walked barefoot :P It was okay I guess, I didn't think much of it (till Shman scared the crap outta me later), but the worst part is that it was that the areas where the sun shined directly onto, was SO HOT. I was like 'omg omg omg hot hot hot hot hot'. Lean Loong and kor kor just laughed, pfffft -.- Had lunch at Peppercorn, and it was really really fun :D

After that, CF! ;D I STOLE BRIAN'S CAP, AGAINNNNNNNN ;D We played the name game, and I switched names with En Leang :P I didn't get called, cuz I guess no one remembers En Leang's name? :P Hahahaha. After games, helped Leek with the projection slides. It was so nice to see my slides up there <3 :) Thennnn, I gave my testimony. I was really nervous and all, but well, all for God's glory right?

Pastor Suresh gave his sermon next, and it was a great one :D It was about leaving the past behind, and looking forward to the future :) Many of the things he said really touched me, :)

And once CF was over, as usual, I stayed and talked to the whole CF gang. Seriously, I love those people, so so so so much. With them, I feel so at home. And so loved. Hee :D Plus I realized how immature I am :P Shman is right. I'm such a kid, and it's like everyone has to look after me. Heh heh :P

- I was trying to look taller :P -

Can't wait for next Friday! :D


Oh and Shman says I chose a bad best friend :P Muahahahah. Finally, someone admits :P

The Geniusness That Is Shman.

Spm results ytd, everyone was hugging. Lynn cried on Leek's shoulder, Evo on Hari's and Nani hugged Shman. Heh. I VERY NEARLY hugged K Fung when I got my results, cuz I was so upset. Stu school, announced wrongly that I got 8As only. Cried like maaaaaaad, and when I looked at my results, 9As. Thank God. But yeah

So anyways, Shman and I were in class today, talking rubbish as usual. And suddenly I came up with a BRILLIANT idea. God knows what I was thinking, but I told Shman that if I see Brian today, I'd give him a hug. I was like, 'DEAL WITH THE UNIVERSE, LET THE UNIVERSE DECIDEEEE!'.... And I thought it wouldn't happen. And then. We were waiting outside the collaborative zone to interview Ms Ho. I was standing at the corridor, leaning on the rail when i saw Brian walking downstairs. He had his cap on, hee. AND WE HAD EYE CONTACT. And I didn't even wave hi, I took off for Shman and went OMG I SAW BRIAN SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. And Shman being an ass, started laughing. After that I whatsapped Brian and went, 'Hi Brian' 'Nice cap ;)' and he came upstairs to find me and he put on his cap for me. We were talking and Shman told him the universe deal. And then it got awks. Ass of a Shman. Gr.

Thankful.

Thank you, God. Thank you.

12 Hours To Go.

SPM Results. Tomorrow. 12 more hours.

Nervous. Oh so nervous.

Dear God,

Give me the courage to do Your will. Remind me: This is for Your glory. If You open a door, lead me and guide me through. For Your glory, Lord, for Your glory.

Escape.

Run, just run. And don't ever look back.

Hope, :)

"Hope is a good thing- maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

Stephen King

It's Back Again.

Today,

I feel sad.

Growing Up- Not What I Expected

Yesterday, mummy brought back SKTTDI (1)'s yearbook from last year. Mm hm, SKTTDI (1) was my primary school. SKTTDI (1) = SK Taman Tun Dr Ismail (1), btw :)

There I sat, staring at the front cover. ;TUNAS 2011 - Sekolah Berprestasi Tinggi - Sekolah Kebangsaan Taman Tun Dr. Ismail. 1'. I started flipping through the pages, looking at how much everything had changed, going 'OMG THAT'S STILL THERE?' at the things that stayed the same, searching for pictures of my teachers, and smiling at how adorably innocent the kids looked. And at one point, I just started crying. I didn't even know why, but I just did. Sat there with that yearbook in my hands, crying.

I told Shman I didn't know why, but I guess I actually do.

.. For the childhood I'd never regain. For the time when everything was so simple. For the innocence, the naivety I lost. When you're a kid, the world is such a safe place. And as we grow, we see that it really isn't what it seems to be. We grow up learning how harsh the world is, how mean people can be. Reality hits hard. We're so strong when we're young, but as we grow up, we get hurt. We become so broken, fragile. Growing up does that to you, and it's so hard to get back up.

I guess I just missed being a kid. And I guess I just broke under pressure.

 Pure joy, :)

Times when I could take a picture and not care if I looked nice.

And now. 

Only selected pictures get selected as 'profile pictures'. Hm.

I don't want to grow up, as immature as that sounds.
I want my childhood back.

Ps. I'm not sad btw, just thinking :) Oh and I KNOW RIGHT? I'm so cute :D 

To My Unborn Child,

Yesterday, #ToMyUnbornChild seemed to be trending to Twitter I guess? It got me thinking, and what I wanted to say couldn't be limited to 140 words. So here I am! Hopefully, this will be a reminder of the kind of 'mummy' I want to be next time :)

To My Unborn Child:

My dear,

• I love you, I will always love you.
• You are beautiful, no matter what people say. God made you the way you are, He meticulously designed every inch of you. You are His masterpiece, and oh my dear, you are so beautiful.
• Be kind.
• Remember to always put God first in your life. Just as He puts you first in His.
• God is always there for you, always. 
• I'm proud of you for who you are, not what you achieve.
• You may not know it now, but the world is an unkind place. Do not let that make you hard.
• I understand that you have your own opinions, and I promise not to drown that voice of yours. Speak out, my dear, you'll be heard.
• I will be your best friend. You can tell me everything and anything, I promise. I'll be your listener. 
• I know you want freedom, but don't ever tell me, 'Mummy, you can't protect me forever.' I'll tell you what your grandma told me. 'I can't protect you forever, but I'll protect you while I can.' 
• Things will get better, they always do.
• If I make a mistake, I WILL apologize. That's a promise.
• I'll remember what it was like, being a teenager. You'll get the privacy and the freedom you deserve.
• You WILL sit with me and listen to me go on and on and on about my high school days whenever I want you to. Or else.
• No my dear, you can't share my ice cream. I'll get you one for yourself. xD 

Love,

Mummy.

Okay, maybe not the last one. Heh :D
And yeah, there you go - That's the kind of 'mummy' I want to be.

Ps. My dear, you are going to see this one day. And you will so proud of me :')

Music To My Ears

Instrumental music is so divine :) Listening to instrumental music just gives me a sense of peace and calmness and I JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE IT :')

Omg, I want to take up guitar! :D Can someone teach me pleaseeeeeeeee? :3

Ps. Completely random, I know. But it's nice to have a lighthearted post once in a while, right? ;D

They Say Revenge Is Sweet.

I'm supposed to be doing assignments, but here I am, looking through Scorpio's characteristics. I don't really believe in this stuff, but it's hard to deny that most of the things listed are somehow similar to the way I act.

Oh yes, I'm mad.

Treat people the way you'd want them to treat you.
That's how I live by. Just because I'm nice, doesn't mean you can use me. I'm sick of being trampled on. You messed with the wrong person this time.

NUMBER 3.

If you don't wanna listen to rants, scroll straight to number 3. Number 3 is compulsory. Do go, and you will make a change. You can save lives, just go watch that video. Don't go, and I curse you to get a bad husband/wife. I mean it ;)

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1

There's more important things in life than just studying.
You know what? God put me here on earth to do bigger things. I'm not just here to study, get into a good university, and then get a good job. That's not what I'm here for. God put me here for a reason, I know that. While He might not show me my purpose now, I believe that I'm here to make a change. For what, I don't know. But one thing I know: I want to make a change. It might not be something big, but I just want to do something. I want to make a change in someone's life, something like that. I want people to think of me one day and go, 'Oh, I remember her. She was one of the kindest, sweetest person I knew.' Or something like that. I want people to remember me for making them smile. Because you know what? Smarts aren't that important. It's who you are that matters. Few years from now, when someone meets you for the first time, he's not gonna ask you 'Which university do you come from?' or something of that sort. Instead, people are going to judge you for how you act. You may be smart, but if you're a negative person, NO ONE is going to like you. Even now, in college, no one even bothers to ask you 'How many As did you get for your trials?' or 'Were you the top student in your school?' NO ONE CARES. What people see straightaway is who you are.

And I just wish they would see that. You see, Taylor's, under UNICEF, has this program where us Taylor's students, can volunteer to teach Somalian refugee kids. I wanted to volunteer, but as it was a weekly thing, they didn't allow me, because it needed so much commitment, and they were worried that I couldn't cope. Fine. Anyways, I told Leek and Lynn to let me know if anyone pulled out on a certain day, so that I could help out once in a while. Yesterday, Leek called me to let me know that there was a spot, and he asked if I wanted to help out. Which of course, I did. I've always wanted to do these stuff, but opportunities don't come quite often. I went downstairs to ask them, and of course, they said no. I persuaded, begged, pleaded, (insert other similar words here), but still they were adamant. No. But without any solid reason. They wanted me to stay home and study. Instead of helping those kids. I continued persuading, and then they yelled at me for being unreasonable.

Seriously?
I want to help, those kids need help. Heck, if everyone thought like they did, the world would be a horrible place to live in. Instead, their reason for not letting me go is so stupid, I just got really really mad and upset. 
There's more important things to life than studying.
Helping others. Isn't that one of the first few things you taught me?

Ugh. Freedom. I want that so bad right now.

God, if You open a door, please lead me through. 
Make them understand.

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2

Dear L 

I was right, wasn't I? I'm so easy to forget. Less than a week. That's all it took, mm hm?

Thank God I was smart enough. Thank God I made the right decisions. Thank God I saw through your cheap talk. Thank God, just thank God.

And you, yes you.
I see what you've done, bitch. Miss Two-Face.

Congratulations to you both.

And now, a toast to myself. For being true to myself, and not letting myself be misled. For making the right decision.
And a toast to you both. Thank you for showing me how low people can be.

Love,
The most awesome person you'll ever meet.

....................................................................................

3

Watch this video, now. I know it's 25 minutes long, but stay. Watch. Together, we can make a change.

Don't you want to be able to tell your grandkids one day, 'I once helped save thousands of lives from the #1 criminal in the world'?

Go. Now. If not, I curse you to get a bad husband/wife. Heh ;)

.......................................................................................

4

Went to Shman's just now. Since his parents were out, and Sarah had no key, guess how we entered? WE WENT THROUGH THE RUBBISH CHUTE! ;D
HOYEAH. ;D

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And that's it for now. There's a post I've been meaning to post, but these ^ have taken up my slot for today :P Tomorrow!

Ps. Ajira, LONG POST FOR YOU! :D You'd better read this till the end, or else I will bug you like maaaaaad tmrw xD

Be You.

I'm in Taylor's Library right nowww :D Just wanted to share a quote with y'all. Ms Farhana let us watch 'The Help' today, and this just caught my attention.

'Am I going to believe all of them bad things that fools say about me today?'

The Help

Be yourself. Why care about what people say? ;D

I Want To Hold Your Hand

'I Want To Hold Your Hand'. Heck, the Beatles got it right. I want to hold your hand. Not 'I Want To Kiss You' or 'I Want To Hold You' or what's more, 'I Want To Make Love To You'. Holding hands- such a pure, innocent gesture.

Holding hands. It's more than just an interlocking of fingers, more than just entwining your fingers in someone else's. Holding hands, to me at least, is letting someone know that they're not alone, that you're there.

One of the first few things I notice about a person after their smile and the way they talk, is their hands. I don't know why, but I start examining hands. The way his/her hands move and all. Yeah, I know -_- Weird.

Strayed off topic again, pffft. Tumblr says it best, I guess.

Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e kissing, hugging, sexing…, the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications. As the Beatles once said “I want to hold your hand.”

Speak Low,

'Speak low, if you speak love.'

William Shakespeare

Love. hm.

David made a surprising statement today. Lynn asked him to predict if I was single or taken, and his answer caught me off guard.
'She's single, but her heart is taken.'

Got me thinking.

Edit:
Dear you,
We're all insecure. You're not the only one. At times, you may feel like you're not good enough, but trust me- you are. Be proud of who you are, and love yourself. Your imperfections are what make you perfect.

Yours truly.

Homework Overload.

Too much homework.

As if the teachers haven't given enough, they just post MORE homework online like there's no tomorrow.
Someone save me.

I just wanna pack my bags and grab the next flight, to anywhere. I need to escape. 

'What If?'

Is a dangerous question.

Don't even go there.

Carpe Diem, Nulla Desideria

Carpe Diem; seize the day.
Nulla desideria; no regrets.

Seize the day, live life with no regrets.

And that's how I'm going to be living ;)

It's been a long time since I've blogged, REALLY blogged. I was stalking certain blogs, and then I just felt this urge to just switch on the laptop, head to blogger, and just start typing. So here I am.

It's been a hectic 3 months. College life has begun, and as overexcited as I was about it, it really wasn't what I had expected at all. I expected it to be something completely new, but then again: I'm taking CAL. Which isn't really that different compared to SPM. It's basically the same thing: study, study, study. Except that this is harder, and more important. I haven't done homework in 3 years, really. And here I am in college, receiving a ton of homework every day, and actually getting punished for not doing it. I didn't even get punished in high school, pfffft. I'm tired most of the time. I reach home at about 5-6 every day, and I still have homework to do, housework to settle. Seems like I'm just trying to catch up on everything.

I'm sure you're thinking: it can't be all bad, right?

Haha, well. College has a good side to it, too :) Other than being tired, I actually really really really love college life :) Heck, there's definitely more freedom in college. Freedom. Isn't that all we really dream about? To be free? ;) I get to stay back late after classes, just hanging around with friends. Our favourite hangout spots? Par Tea Time and Snowflakes! Par Tea Time has the best waffles around, and Snowflakes has awesome Taiwanese desserts, which Shman and I love. In one week, we actually went there 3 TIMES! ;D

I've also met many, many, MANY new friends. I'm in the same class as Shman (such a blessing), and our classmates are really really awesome people! :D 4/5 Epsilon was a little quiet, and I don't do quiet. Y'all know how talkative I am, and I just can't. stand. quiet. people. So THANKFULLY, our class is REALLY REALLY loud. For the first few days, the teachers kept encouraging us to 'speak up!' cause we were so quiet. But now, OH MY GOD. The teachers actually have to tell us to shhh! :P And the gossip in our class, ohemgee. We know each other's dirty secrets, thanks to Pamela. And I personally think that sharing something really personal with someone, really creates this bond between them. Hm. Plus, our class is so united :') Especially in sharing answers for homeworks, hahahaha. Like Ms Ho said, 'PM 13 IS SO UNITED. ONE PERSON WRONG, WHOLE CLASS WRONG!' xD HAHAHAHA.

Also, I've joined Taylor's CF :) I'm so thankful that I actually took the time to actually go. Because CF really does feel like home. I go for CF, and I leave feeling refreshed. It's somewhere I can be my loud, noisy self, and no one will judge me :D Hahaha. Everyone there is either as loud, or louder than me, thank God :) People in CF are really nice, too. Like Brian and Nicholas and Lean Loong and David and Nick :) *Yes, I just realized I listed down guys. Only.* Oops? :P

But. I miss the gang.

I miss those crazy people who know me better than anyone else. I see Lynn and Leek every day, so that's okay. But Evo, Jannah, K Fung, Sehran, Sarah, Matthew? I don't get to see them every day anymore, and it sucks. Plus Shman wasn't around for 3 weeks, cause he went to UK. God only knows how much we missed having him around. He finally came back to college on Friday, and I was SO HAPPY. *Shman, if you're reading this, I know. Ew.* Hahaha. But yeah, he came back and we just had so much to catch up on. We talked and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. Dang, I strayed out of topic. The gang, the gang. I just really miss us. How we used to hang out every day during recess, and after school. The rubbish we'd talk about, the things we'd do. Hm :/

This 3 months, have taught me so much.
1. Appreciate the people around you. You never know what's going to happen next.
2. God is ALWAYS there for me. Always.
3. Happiness is something that you make for yourself. It's a decision you make every day.
4. People judge. That's nature, and there's not much you can do about it.
5. A smile can do wonders :)
6. Don't dwell in the past, because you can't change it. But you can always change what's going to happen next :)
7. DO NOT SLACK.
8. Be yourself. Let people like you for who you are, not for what you're not. If they don't like you, well, that's their loss, isn't it? ;D

... and so many others. I just realized that I have piano class later, and I haven't practiced. Oh gosh. Better start now.

More, soon :) I promise.

Ps. To those who're stalking, please, DON'T SCROLL DOWN. Lemme warn you, those posts come from a very immature and depressing time in my life. So, Just. Don't.
Please and thank you :)