to hell with you. i did what was right, and personally, i'm proud of myself.
i know others who are, too.

http://selchess.blogspot.com/2010/04/gambar-gambar-di-kejohanan-msss-2010.html

basically, today, during koko:

1. puddle of water. lynn's back and jannah's is against it. i'm directly in front of it. amin khalam walks into it. slips and falls. i say 'OW'. we can't stop laughing. menahan laughter. later, he comes back with friends. points at the puddle and calls it babi -.-

2. defiance (CY NG) walking towards us. i remember pbsm, he was our commander. tells jannah and lynn. jannah's reaction? SHE YELLS 'DEFIANCE?!' LOUD. -.-' he was so near. wonder if he heard -.-

TUMBLR!

now using tumblr instead ;D

hide-and-seek <3

CRAP I'M MC TMRW. GAHHHHHH!

i'm off to ipoh for the day -.-'
goodbye, people! 

watching spain play yesterday, was awful. disappointing. i wanted to tear my hair out. i closed my eyes, i couldn't bear to watch. i was in PHYSICAL PAIN every time they missed. and when switzerland scored that goal, i was gonna burst into tears. i mean, WHAT HAPPENED, SPAIN? WHAT HAPPENED?! you're one of the greatest teams out there, and a loss to switzerland is not something i would've expected. to better teams like brazil, or smth, i would've understood. but this, i can't comprehend.

i'm not gonna defend them, and say that they played well, cause they didn't. they had so many chances, but they squandered them all. 15+ shots on target, and NOT A SINGLE GOAL. when alonso kicked that ball, and it ALMOST went in, i could've CLAWED MY EYES OUT. what the hell was wrong?! and that goal by switzerland? that was FRIGGING BAD DEFENDING. gahhhhh.

20 minutes to the end of the game, i couldn't bear watching anymore. i switched of the tv, and i didn't wanna care anymore. it didn't help that SOME PEOPLE were trying to rub it in. it just made me even more pissed.

but well, whatever. spain's still has my support. they'll get back up, i know. and they'll win the cup! bring out fabregas and torres, they'll do a heck of a job!

go spain! :) 

once, this little boy went out to the garden, and he saw this little butterfly. he thought, 'it's so pretty! i must catch it!' slowly, he lured the butterfly nearer to him, and he catches it with his net. while examining it, another butterfly flies past, a brighter-coloured one, perhaps. and the boy is left thinking, 'that one's prettier! i want that one instead!' so, he goes off to catch that one, and the other butterfly is left abandoned. it might seem free, but its wings are broken now, and it can't fly. it's left reeling in pain and fear. fear to ever fly, in case its ever caught again. and maybe, it can't fly. not anymore.

my dad's watching the brazil vs north korea match, and seriously,
michael bastos looks a bit like michael jackson :O 

brazil vs north korea

that first goal seemed impossible O_O
from riiiiiight at the side, and suddenly, GOAL! ;D WOOH! ;)

so here i am, awake, at 2.30am, which is what i've been doing ever since world cup started. and yeah, i agree with jannah. THIS WORLD CUP IS BORING D; the matches are like, so dull. no one's playing at their best, it just makes it so painful to watch. UGHHHH.

well, at least brazil's playing awesomely. honestly, this is the first match that i've watched that made me go bored halfway. from what i've watched lar. but still -.-

spain's match tmrw! weeeee! :D confirm win :)

reminder:

just keep smiling. 

SUNWAY OUTING

here i go:

we (jab, lynn, evo and i) were supposed to meet up with the chess gang (sehran, hazwan and hari) at tgv cinemas' ticketing counter at 10.30. well, we got lost, so we came late :P and us, being well, us, as soon as we reached, we immediately (sort of) started arguing about the movie time -.-' turns out, i was right. sehran was wrong :D soon after, minnie arrived :) TYPICAL. he spent most of his time teasing me about my height -.-

and then, we walked to the skating rink. on the way, minnie and evo split, to have some private time :) they haven't seen each other in months, anyway. they deserve it :) so, yeah. oh btw, we had to split from lynn and jab at speedy, so i was stuck with the chess gang. yeeeeppp. and that means loads of annoying insults -.-' so i was already quite annoyed at the beginning of the day. psh.
once we reached, turns out leek was already there :) and in the end, we decided not to ice skate, because it was too expensive. 21 BUCKS ENTRY FEE. 8 BUCKS FOR GLOVES, 5 FOR SOCKS. WTH? -.-

and yeah, with nothing to do, we walked around aimlessly for quite some time. until we stopped by popular bookstore, and blablabla. and yeah, we met andrew here :) yes, andrew. i was on the phone. and i was annoyed cause some people weren't picking up -.- oh and at this point, if you realised, when you look down from outside popular, there's actually this charity thing, where you run for charity or something. the announcer was announcing everything, and hazwan, hari and sehran were just standing there watching. so, the announcer was like, YOU GUYS UP THERE! DON'T JUST STAND AND WATCH! COME DOWN AND PARTICIPATE! blablabla -.- psh. DAMN FUNNY! they actually ran from that spot (kind of) XD

after a LONG argument about lunch, we decided on subway. where hazwan's order got misplaced, and he had to line up AGAIN after waiting 10 mins :P
*bad things'll happen to bad people :D

after that, walked around aimlessly again. then, we stopped by baskin robbins to get ice cream. i got myself cookies and cream :D wee! :D we were sitting in split tables, and as we were eating, a lady came and campaigned for a charity thingy to the chess gang. haha, it seemed kinda funny at that time, so i took pictures XD haha. thinking that she might target us next, we tried our best to squeeze so there was no space for her to sit. turns out she still came anyway. -.-' leek immediately spoke in tamil -.-' ass. she asked if we spoke english. leek was like, melayu tamil cina cina cina (jab, evo, me, lynn and himself) -.-' and she asked if we spoke english. to which, sadly, we awkwardly said yes. and leek asked her 'HOW OLD ARE YOU?' -.-' psh. and typical of us, we tend to embarass ourselves right? leek dropped ice cream on his pants (near his you-know-what) and that lady actually asked him 'do you need a tissue?' XD haha! we started laughing like crap XD haha. basically, i think we kinda annoyed her. and embarassed her. :D

then, went to the arcade. where FOR THE FIRST TIME, i actually played :D racing :D got last, of course. but still! :D and GUESS WHUT GUESS WHUT? this is awesome! i was walking, and i bumped into this guy. and then, i felt him staring at me. so, i stared back. he was hot :D and he looked so familiar :O i could feel that he recognised me as well -.-' he had that kind of look :P haha. HEEEEEEE :D gila hot seh :)

so, yeah. we were late for the movie -.-' it was quite funny. but i really can't remember much about it, just that i made hari become shrek, ashman became puss, and i christened hazwan, RUMPLESTILTSKIN. THEY ARE SO ALIKE! ;P 'nobody is as smart as ME!' :P

hm. after the movie,  we walked around aimlessly some more. and WE SAW THAT GUY AGAIN. this time, i made kind of a huge fuss, until everyone knows :P haha. sehran was like 'IS HE TALLER THAN ME?' 'YEP!' 'HOW DARE HE?!' XD haha. frigging sehran and his theory -.- 'jas has a secret admirer' -.- haha, plus, evo admits he's hot :D

so, yeah. after that, we shopped for SOMETHING. and after that, we went to take pictures at the photo booth, cause our gang don't really have any pics with the FOUR of us together. so, yeah. it was stupid -.- rush rush rush. pose. rush. pose. yell for the guys. RUSH. etc etc. and then, the chess gang had to leave (forgot to mention. leek and andrew left earlier) and then, editing the pics. that was gay. it was so kelam-kabut. and yeaaaah. choosing the pics? KELAM-KABUT, again. until we left out 2 nice pics, and got a horrid one instead -___-

overall, it was quite okay. just for some misunderstandings at some point.
i quite enjoyed myself.

donkey: you're a CAT-ASTROPHE!
puss: you're RE-DONKEY-LOUS!

:D 

sunway outing

too tired to blog about it. some other time, maybe?

like father,
"50 bucks is nothing!" - mr. kumaresan


like son,
"COME ON, GET REAL!" - haritharan a/l kumaresan


:D hee :D


ps; i've created a tumblr acc. basically, i'll be posting the same things there, maybe some extra, maybe some less. feel free to visit :)

oh and thank you to KEVIN too :D

hari, sarah, and ?? (i know who you are),

thanks a bunch! i love you guys :)

dear -.-'

GET LOST.

gahhhh, i smell something burning.


oh, wait. it's just my brain.

uncle, i'll miss you :(

i'll miss your jokes, 

i'll miss your stories,

i'll miss you randomly buying me stuff,

i'll miss your voice,

i'll miss you :(

the last time i saw you, i didn't even manage to say goodbye.

you always said that you wanted to see me graduate.

to see me work and save people's lives,

you wanted to see me succeed.

why did you stop fighting? 

don't you know, i miss you?

i didn't get to tell you this; but just so you know, i love you. 

i was supposed to go to sch today. in fact, i was LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.


woke up today morning, bathed, had my breakfast, etc.
then, my mum suddenly had a fit, and decided that SHE'S NOT GONNA SEND ME TO SCH TODAY -.-'
and she practically locked me in the house. GAH! :(


i wanna go to sch so badly :(

for a minute, i thought i was strong.
if i am, why am i breaking down again?

i guess i was wrong.

i hate hitz.fm ;(

why is it that the radio stations are playing all the sad songs today? ;(

lynn's story

SUNDAY, MAY 2, 2010

this post is dedicated to a blinded girl and a noble guy

upcoming post will sound dumb but heck, idc :)


once upon a time, in a far away kingdom, theres a princess. she has always been waiting for a knight in shining armour to catch her in his arms and live happily ever after. day and night, she will daydream about her 'face-less' prince charming.

and so one fine day, while she was picking berries in a nearby forest, she saw a prince. very handsome i'd say, he was riding on his horse. and bam, she was in love with him. she thought, 'hey, this is my white horse prince charming'. sadly the prince didnt feel the same way towards her, she was sad, very sad. her heart was shattered. she moved on though.

oh i forgot the most important bit, the princess has a servant. her servant is her rant pole, her box of secrets and most importantly her bestfriend :) btw, the servant is a guy. the servant is secretly in love with the princess. she didnt knew it at first but she had a hunch, and her hunch was right :) i guess its an unrequited love when the princess doesnt love the servant back. he was her bestfriend and never she expected that to happen. he was totally fine with it though.

few months passed, again she was picking berries in the forest. and AGAIN, she saw a guy. this time he aint a prince, hes a very talented artist. very talented. but this time, she wasnt keen in liking this dude, it was a 'ok ok la' kind of situation. the princess and the artist became close after some time and the artist realize hes in love with the princess. the artist told the servant boy and let me say this, the servant boy STUPIDLY told the princess. after hearing what he said, she too fell in love with the artist. but, after a few days the artist realized that, 'hey i dont think i love her'. the princess found out.

and again, the princess became very very very sad. very sad indeed, her heart shattered into a million gazillion pieces again. the servant boy was really sad too. he tried to comfort her, but i guess it didnt work. he wanted to make her feel better but he couldnt.

the story stops here :)

dear princess,
you're blinded by a thick thick mist.
but to you silly girl, the thick mist is something very beautiful.
if you try to open your eyes bigger and search for a clear view.
you'll realize the view infront of you without the mist is something VERY beautiful.
the person whos been caring for you ALL THE WHILE is the beautiful scenery im talking about.
you just dont realize that, the person is the one that cares most for you.

the prince and the artist aint the 'knight in shining armour', maybe the servant aint too but what im trying to imply here is, in your deepest darkest moment, you still have a person that cares for you and not hurt you like what mr princey and mr artisty did.
but again princess, its still your choice to just admire it or build your castle at the beautiful secenery :)

the ending is for the princess to decide :)
when its decided, perhaps i will post it over here

to my 3 darlings,
thanks for everything,
without you, i don't know where i'd be right now.


thanks for always being there for me;
for lending me your shoulder, for me to cry on;
for trying. always trying. to make me smile, when i don't feel like it;
for making me see;
for laughter;
for caring. so much;
and for giving me the greatest gift of all: your friendship, and your love :)


you guys mean the world to me :)

jannah's reaction when she got the ball <3

and, after sch. jannah's party. her house. cupcakes, pizza. snap.

i don't wanna know
if you're playing me, keep it on the low
cause my heart can't take it anymore 
and if you're creepin, please don't let it show
oh baby, i don't wanna know

ishraf: what is vector quantity?
shman; IT HAS FORCE (with full confidence)
ishraf: BAGUSSS! BERDIRI.

it was raining just now. 

maybe the sky's feeling the way i do.

if you're trying to hurt m,. i'll give you my congratulations. you're succeeding. tremendously.

can you be any crueler?

silence.

 that's all i hear. that's all there is.

every time we talk, i wish i could tell you what i really want to say. instead of holding back everything :/

to think i was happy.


crushed hopes and broken dreams;
that was a slap in the face.

my body's aching all over. i was so tired, so sleepy, in sch today. i think most of the prefects were the same. theeb, hari and i kept falling asleep in zuhriah's class -.- and i slept throughout add math, although mr. ashman raziuddin was busy trying to bug me. this definitely shows how tired i was :O

prefects camp

day 1
berkumpul at sch at 5.15. pendaftaran, and we were put into groups. andrew, hazwan, me, hari, and evo are all in separate groups. gr. no fair. what's more, i don't really know anyone in my group, except thivya and parameswari. uh. i was in group 7 and the group name was RAMBO. LOL. ahha. hazwan's in group 10 (super banana), evo's in group 6 (sun-j) XD, hari's in group 2, and andrew's in group 1. thennn, uh. got our dorms, the classrooms. i'm sleeping between para and evo. evo's on my right, and para's on my left. meanwhile, hazwan, hari, andrew and harshana had to share a camp. i laughed like crap at that. 'hahaha, harshana, the 3 of them'll rape you tonight!' ahha. at night, had ceramah from datin. -.-' and after thaaaaat, we had activities, like creating the team flag and cheer, etc. ours was gay.

go rambo, go rambo

HA. HA.

we are strong, we are strong

HO. HO.

GOOOO RAMBO!

-.-'

i like group 10's cheer:

cut banana. cut cut banana

cook banana. cook cook banana

eat banana. eat eat banana

got banana? (mukhzin shows off his muslces)

we were given eggs to take care of as well. 3 eggs. 2 broke :( sigh. the last egg, i kept. after thaaaat, got scolded by teachers for about an hour. STANDING and getting scolded for an hour. my back ached, and my feet hurt. pu3 hazirah actually came and asked me if i was alright. but i told her that i was. HELL NO AM I GONNA GIVE UP. i ain't gonna be like those type of people. i'm not gonna go out. and the only way i'll go out is if i faint. night walk. walked around kubah and gah, it was tiring. slept at about 1.

saturday

woke up at 5. batheddd. uh uh, for non-muslims, debate between guys and girls. the topic? guys and girls, who's more suitable to be head prefect? and hell yeah, this was awesome. i had ideas, and as you know, i LOVE arguing. especially when after i argue, the guys get stunned. yeah, that happened :)

i was wrongg. turns out, instead of the 3 guys raping harshana, harshana bugged andrew and hari till they couldn't sleep by singing twinkle twinkle little star and poking them. -.-

got punished because we lost our flag while sleeping at night. oh well. exercise, breakfast, ceramah. 

thenn, crappy work. we had to prepare our own lunch. our group, combined with group 4, had to cook eggs. since there was no pan, we had to boil them. which was okay. i was bored, since about 2O PEOPLE were already working on the eggs. i had nothing to do. so yeah, me, harshana, hari and hazwan talked. and i suggested truth or dare. immediately, harshana dared hazwan to slap me. and he really did. :( i saw his hand coming, but i thought that he wouldn't do it. so, i didn't even flinch. and he did :( i got a shock, and i was really really hurt. hazwan, harshana and hari were like, 'it's just a slap, come on.' WHATT?! just a slap?! it still isn't funny.and yeah, to prove his point, harshana slapped me TOO.  since they said it was just a slap, i showed them (harshana and hazwan) that i could slap back. and guess what? THEY MOVED BACKWARDS, AND RAN OFF. wth?! so, i merajuked la. i didn't wanna talk to any of them, and hazwan just continued doing his job, which was sweeping the floor. meanwhile, hari and harshana tried to get me to talk. and talk i did. i yelled, and i told them off. hari was like, 'hazwan was wrong, but i couldn't say it in front of him' and when i asked why, he said KEJANTANAN. i was so pissed. so i went off and helped the group. and yeah, this part? our KETUA left the flag, and yeah. again. denda. it wasn't even our fault. it was the GROUP LEADER. he asked for the flag from mimi and i, and then, he just put it at the side. and when we got scolded, he didn't even say anything. even when azim was saying about how our team has no teamwork, and that the GROUP LEADER shouldn't take care of the flag himself and bla bla bla. azim practically blamed US for losing the flag, and praised our leader. GR. so i got even more pissed, and i didn't wanna eat (it was lunchtime) , and i didn't wanna talk to anyone. but i got forced to eat, so yeah. i had to eat. and even in groups, i was sitting really really near to hazwan during that time. usually, we would make eye signals to each other and talk, but this time, i didn't even talk to him. not a single word. after lunch, he apologized and asked if i was mad. as usual, i'm TOO NICE and i just let him off the hook. 'i'm still mad at you. just a little.' cleaned up, etc etc. hung out at the guys' camp, and hazwan apologized again. he explained that he was apologizing because evo scolded him, saying that 'that's not a nice thing to do'. i misunderstood. i thought that he only apologized because of evo, and not because he was sincere. so, i asked him. later. turns out, the first time he apologized, it was sincere. and after that, then only evo scolded him -.-' so he apologized again. 

then, ceramah by faisal. 

can't remember what happened after that, but oh well. 

hm. at one part, they asked for two girls to volunteer from each group, and para pushed me out. with her. guess why? we had to clean chickens -.-

prepared for performanceeeee. 

helped hari and hazwan and evo to barbecue the chickens. practiced performance.

dinner (barbecue) and then, performances. ours was okay, i guess. the best was evo's group. SANJAAAAY XD

slept at 12.

sunday

we were woken up at 2AM. WTH?! turns out, they were doing the same thing as last year. the one where they blindfold you, drag you around, pull you away from your teammates, and put you at a random spot. this year, they had a password, which is KAMBING WARNA PELANGI. if you don't remember, you won't be able to go back. they'll just leave you there. kononnya lah. this time, i'm sure that i was put at the kerb at the carpark. when they put me there, they were still settling other people. i heard evo screaming, 'amin, I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO!' ;D i laughed the crap outta myself. i was bored, so i sang songs to myself. lol. during the whole wait, we kept yelling out the password at random times, so that we'd remember. when one person yells, everyone yells. haha :) half an hour after waiting, i remembered something: i told  hazwan about this. and he was scared. so, he was scared -.-' he said that, if we did get this, he'd yell 'E4' and see if anyone answers him. so yeah, that's what i did -.- but no one answered :( frigging firdayu. i knew she was around. and every time people yelled 'kambing warna pelangi', she'll say something like. KAMBING WARNA HITAM. then, i'll answer her back. i'll be like. MANA ADA. and then, she'll say 'kambing warna hitam ada?' i'll say 'TAK ADA LAH' XD LOL. idk why, some people don't get disturbed and some people do. i was the ones who got disturbed. from front, from behind. by two people at one time -.-' behind me was a plant, i didn't know. so when i wanted to slap the person behind, i scratched myself at the tree. 

finished at 4. and they gave us rehat till 5. by the time i changed clothes and tied my hair, it was already 4.15. i went down and talked to the guys outside their tent (yes, they slept outside on their sleeping beds. under the stars. like i said, it rained yesterday, so their tent was wet) the guys really didn't hear my e4. AND HARI WAS NEAR TO ME. -.-' how could he not hear?! oh well. andrew and hazwan didn't even kena kacau :( 

at around 5.40, the guys went off to change. evo and i slept at their spots, their sleeping bags. we thought that it'll only be 20 mins, so it'll be alright. evo slept on hari's, i slept on hazwan's. i woke at 5.50 when elyas said 'asal ada perempuan kat sini?!' and hari was like 'diamlah, tengok? you dah bangunkan mereka'. i went back to sleep after hari promised me that he would wake me up when we had to kumpul. 

andddddd. i woke up to the sound of aisyah waking up the muslims, to go for prayers. IT WAS 6. I GOT A SHOCK. turns out, almost everyone was sleeping at 5, so tak jadi. then, realisation hit me: I WAS SLEEPING ON THE GUYS' SPOTS. OMG! WHERE DID THEY SLEEP? DID THEY EVEN SLEEP? OMG OMG :( then, andrew came. turns out, the guys were sleeping at the stage. harshana and hari, at least. hazwan already went off for prayers. i walked there to get them to sleep back at their spots, but they looked so peaceful, i tak sanggup wake them up. so, i moved and slept at the stage. evo came soon after. then, hazwan came out from solat. and we talked, and i slept. talked, and then took a litle nap, then talked. and yeah, the sky was beautiful. it was a crescent moon, with only ONE star. and the star's directly under the moon. sigh :) yeah. i slept on the stage floor. and yeah, now my body is aching. especially my shoulders. sigh :( AND ONE THING: I SLEPT WITH OUR EGG :O my baby :) plus, i finally got my wish of sleeping under the stars :) *atleast, one star ;D

after some other stuffs, they had football. so yeah, our team vs kamal's team. our team, 3 girls and 3 guys. kamal's team? 4 guys, 2 girls. and guess what? we won. for girls, my team had me, para and thivya. kamal's team included him and kadir. heh. i kept going after the both of them, trying to snatch the ball. kadir was quite annoyed, i think XD after a goal from me, which was a penalty kick (IT WAS AWESOME! IT WENT IN SO NICELY <3 ) and a goal from the other team, it was 1-1. so it went into penalty kicks. i scored once, (ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL ONE. SERIOUSLY.) and arief scored the other. the other team missed once, and we won :) i was feeling proud :) people kept complimjenting me, including julian and harshana. even mukhzin said, 'CARA YOU TENDANG CANTIK' in an awe-ish manner ;D hazwan was like, wow jas, you were playing aggresiveeee O: heh. and he kept calling me 'torres' from that point -.-
after that, the facilitators had a game against the top-scoring group (evo's) and since they didn't have enough people, hanis chose me to join their team. I WAS HONOURED O: but frigging arief took away my chance, he was like 'CAMNE BOLEH AMBIK STAR WEHHH?' it was kinda honour-ish, but yeah. goneeeee, my chance. but ain got substituted, cause she fell, and i went in.but i didn't get to score the goal :( sighhhh. i wasn't feeling too bad about it though, cause we would've lost anyway. evo's team already had 3 goals, and there was only about 2 mins left. -.-'
the shocking-est part was, some random guy actually came to me and said, 'KEREK LAH BOLEH MAIN BOLA' -.-' i was like, wth? i didn't even say anythinggggg -.-

afterwards, we had something like treasure hunt, or explorace. smth like that la. and our team actually got into the top 5. top 5 will go for another round, to see who wins. we actually were in the lead, just that we were confused at one point -.-' we didn't even have to kena simbah air, since we didn't make any mistakes :) so yeah. we came in 4th. then, the other teams came and they said that someone cheated, and tore of the rest of the clues. so, they couldn't get the clue. which then MADE US DISQUALIFIED. us, the top 5 DISQUALIFIED. i was so disappointed :( our team worked so hardddd :(
oh well.

add in:
11th may:
lol KADIR TOLD QABIR AND QABIR TOLD JASON THAT 'YOUR SISTER IS A GOOD FOOTBALL PLAYER!' HEE ;D

i'm exhausted. my body's aching. i'm terribly sleepy. 
overall, it was fun :)

currently, packing for camp :)

celebrated shman's birthday. we had an early celebration, for two reasons:
so that ashman won't suspect much, and because next week is really close to exam :O


so yeah. we went to domino's. it was so easy to get ashman to follow us. i just told him that 'shmannn, later, lynn and i are going to 7 eleven to get slurpees. hazwan, sehran and andrew are coming too.' i didn't even get to finish my sentence, and shman just cut in, saying 'go 7 eleven tak ajak me la now? fine, fineee' and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ;D and to think that we were fretting over it so much -.-' evo couldn't come though, same goes to sehran and andrew :( lynn and jannah wanted to go back and change before coming, so they went off in lynn's car. so, i walked with hazwan, ashman and hari. again, the only girl among the guys. freaks -.- ashman kept saying 'wow, jas. you actually trust us? what if we do something to you?' or something of the sort -.- damn gay mannn -.-' but i'm already used to hanging out with them, so yeah -_-

when we reached d'bayu, hazwan turned on ashman and said something like, 'shman, we're not going to 7 eleven. we're celebrating your birthday!' and we pushed shman all the way into domino's XD soon, lynn, jannah and leek came. when the pizza came, we sang 'happy birthday' to the birthday boy :D REAL LOUDLY. we were supposed to sing for ashman, then jannah, then leek, but turns out we only did it for ashman. cause, people actually joined in when we sang (the place was full of students -.- ) also, we had toast, chinese-style. you knowww, the yaaaaam seng thingy? XD we had to do it twice, since the first time failed. everyone was laughing XD especially the hazwan and ashman, since it was their first time, i think XD we were all trying to cover face, it was agak embarassing -.-

gave ashman his present. there, i wrote a note saying 'happy birthday, shman! here's something that looks exactly like you!' XD when he found out that the doo doo doll's name is blur blur, he was like, WHY ME? ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE PENG?! (leek) haha XD
also, lynn poured out TWO packets of chilli flakes on ashman's slice of pizza, siao. :D

then, walked back home. someone actually got another someone to buy her an ice cream -.-' mengadaaa. everyone was rushing, and i was left behind with ashman, who was having tummy pain because he ate too much -___-

prefects meeting. lateeeee. evo was pissed at me :(
tmrw's camp, yaaaay! :)

http://selchess.blogspot.com/2010/04/gambar-gambar-di-kejohanan-msss-2010.html

'i'm a bug magnet, mann!'
- lynn

:)

today?


i'm ;(


sick. flu, cough, sore throat. horrid :(
people keep misunderstanding my being quiet as being emo -.-' i'm not, i'm just sick. talking makes my throat hurt :(


so, yeah. other than that, i'm okay :) 
i'm happy :)


just one thing though; am i in denial? :/

now everything's in a mess again.
i don't know what to do. step to the left, or step to the right.
i just wish life were simple,
and there were rewind buttons for every mistake that you would make.

i'm sorry, but i get emotional easily.

i'm smiling, and i'm laughing. that means i'm back to being myself :)

jas, jas. you like to hurt yourself even more, don't you?

i was happy. I WAS HAPPY.
one moment i was happy. the next i was just crushed.


well, i guess i should thank you for that. you made me realise.


i wish you knew what you've done.

i wish i could just tell you. 

i wish i didn't have to see you

i wish i could just stop. 

stop crying. stop caring.

god, can you please, for once, grant me my wishes? i'm hurt. i don't know what to do about it, cause there really isn't nothing i can do. these tears just keep coming, it seems like they just don't wanna stop. so, please?

better yet, please turn back time. 

jas, you stupid, naive little girl. you always make the same mistake. always. when are you ever gonna learn?!
i know, i know. why am i always the fool? 

i always say to myself, 'i won't be so stupid the next time'. yeah, right. time and time again, i let my stupidity take over me. i think with my heart, and i don't think with my mind. somehow, i just never learn. now, this is what i get, for not listening to advice.


i wish i could talk to someone about it. but i can't. and, i know what people will say. and i just don't wanna hear those words of advice. i just need time. i'm done with this. i'm done. i'm done.


the laptop screen is just a blur. i can't even see what i'm typing anymore. 
my eyes are swollen from crying.

i wish these tears would just stop falling. 
i've cried so much, there shouldn't be any tears anymore.

lynn says that crying makes her feel better. alas, i don't feel the same way.

lets just say that i cried myself to sleep last night 

and the tears are still falling, even now.

looks like i just got fooled again.
it's times like this that i wish i could just go back to hurting myself.
instead of letting others hurt me.
i might as well but a sticker on my forehead that says, 'hey, i'm real easy to fool.'

this is hard.


am i making the right choice, or am i not?
everyone seems to be against it, but i don't know why.


should i follow my instincts, my emotions, or listen to others?
i just don't wanna be hurt again :/


sometimes i just wish my heart was made out of stone.

i'm having bruises at my leg, the part where sehran/ashman's knee hit me yesterday. :(

the moon's so bright nowadays,
it's just so beautiful to watch, to look at.


sometimes i wish that i could sit and watch it all night, with someone sitting beside me,
it gets so lonely sometimes.
hm. i wonder, if i make a wish, will it come true?

come on, jas. quit daydreaming already. it won't happen.

YESTERDAY
1.after recess yesterday, everyone rushed to the physics lab. O_O he was LATE. very, very late :O and we were talking about 'later each person cane him once' XD haha. turns out, he DIDN'T COME. when someone announced it, the whole class was like, YES! haha! ;D


2. during siv and add math, ashman, hari, lynn, elora and i, practiced our eng oral. as usual, we'll be doing DRAMA ;D heee. this time, it's about a murder investigation. i'm acting as hari's bussiness partner, hari's the victim AND ashman's assistant, ashman's the detective, lynn if hari's girlfriend, and elora's the owner of a gun shop and also lynn's maid. 
interesting, no? :)


3. permainan dalaman yesterday was quite boring :/ i didn't do anything, mostly watched the guys play. and history was made: andrew actually made TRIPLE PAWNS. :O WOWWWW.


TODAY
1. football! this time, the teams were: ashman, hari and andrew in a team, and jannah, me, hazwan and sehran in the other. the end result? 2-2. again. hazwan and i scored for our team :) I SCORED A GOAL, PAST ANDREW AND HARI! ;D YAY! ;D there were loads of accidents -.- pft. eg: jannah and ashman terlanggar and fell, andrew tripped over jannah, jannah kicking the ball into sehran's uh, dick? and me running into some VERY SKINNY PEOPLE. ashman, sehran, hazwan. skinny people have SHARP BONES. when you run into them, you get HURT. very hurt. owwww.
plus, lovegrass. lots and lots of lovegrass. gr.


2. english oral. our drama was a success :) apart from some parts, like the part where i LAUGHED when hari died, the whole thing was awesome :) zee got a huge shock when ashman suddenly slammed the table :O i wish i could've seen. haha, and guess what the name of the gun was? DEFIANCE 3. AWESUM XD haha! one thing i learned, sweat + air cond = NO GOOD. we were sweating terribly, and we went into the library for the oral thingy. and we were dammit cold. shman was shaking terribly and his teeth were chattering -_- freezing :/
the worst part is, I DIDN'T GET TO RECORD THE PART WHERE HARI AND I WERE ACTING MENGADA :( hari was blocking the camera :( it was funny, and i didn't get it :( it was the part where hari and i say 'PERFECT!' together, and we go 'OOOOH SSSSST' like in hannah montana :)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :(


p.s. someone's going for a chess tournament tmrw. i wish i could join :(

the moon, it's pretty tonight :)
it's shining so brightly :O


i wonder. if i make a wish tonight, will it come true? ;/

can i please take back what i said?
can i please take back what i did?
can i please turn back the time?
can things go back to the way they were?


and life says, 'no, no, no and no.'

1. mikhail came late today, and his reason? "hari yang indah" :O haha XD

2. ghost stories

3. lynn, hari and evo asking the EXACT same question [jaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, you don't like ...... do you?] wth -.-

4. prefects meeting. hazwan suggested me for ajk for games, for the sake of it. i suggested him for ajk persembahan, and hari for ajk sponsor. and all of us got it. evo's ajk hotel, with kamal.

5. hari and shman kept talking about me being obsessed with chess. totally lupa daratan (is that correct?) who's more obsessed huh? :P

6. letting out everything that i've bottled up for the past year.

as i'm writing this, i'm trying to remember those times that i was happy today. the times that i laughed, that i enjoyed myself. somehow those moments seem so far now. it's just been a short while, and my emotions just took a u-turn, and i'm stuck in this sadness again. i just wanna regain that feeling of being happy again. please? i don't wanna feel depressed again. this happens so often. it comes and then it goes, and it leaves me being confused in its midst. people don't realise it, cause i always cover it up. i'm thinking back of those happier moments today, and how am i reacting? a bitter laugh. i feel so bitter nowadays, it doesn't seem like me. i was happy. i was someone who laughed all the time, who could always see the better side of things. where did that part of me go? between now and then, i've changed. little by little. these emotions, i've hidden deep inside me, locked them away. the regret. the pain. the lost. mostly, the regret. the 'i shouldn't have, i shouldn't have' 'it was a mistake.' and now, they're resurfacing. i never should've brought it up, never should've mentioned it. it just brings back the memories. 

i think i'm gonna go give myself a good cry now.

shman, i am NOT obsessed. NOT OBSESSED. not yet, anyway. i'm just ON THE VERGE XD
and i don't think i can go :(


and whut 'keep it up', huh? :P

haziq, 

us here, we miss you too. loads. we miss all the times we've shared with you. everything we've been through together. but you're in a better place now, so come on, head up, haziq! :) be strong! you know we're always right beside you, every step of the way :)

was talking to hazwan just now. he kinda admitted that yes, he did get me into chess. i told him that i wanted to join the chess tournament next saturday, and he said something like 'i didn't know our influence was so strong!' which means, he ADMITS that he DID get me into chess! i mentioned it to him, and he was like 'ahha but it's a draw already' *laughing* -.-' 
still. this shows that i could've won! i was just TOO NICE ;D and hazwan was just too lucky -.-


gr. i can't install the chessmaster cd on my pc :( GAH :(

seriously, the pidm thingy REALLY makes me appreciate cash. it's like, every time i've gotta pay for something, i go 'CRAP! THERE GOES MY CASH!' :(


currently: RM222,194.00

results for the argument of jas vs hazwan:
a draw. :D


this was serious funny. hazwan's keyboard wasn't working. so he couldn't type 'I WIN' XD couldn't type spaces, and couldn't type Ns :D haha. i won, but i offered him a draw, cause it was quite luck-ish the way i won XD
so, it ends here. a draw :D
hee (:

today morning, hari, hazwan evo and i helped tch to take down the curtains from 1 beta, so hari and i managed to skip chem, and evo and hazwan managed to skip physics :D by the time we were done, there was only 20 minutes left, so evo played chess against hari, and i played against hazwan. and here's the shocking thing: HARI LOST TO EVO. AND, I WON AGAINST HAZWAN! ;D shockingggggg. hazwan lost a FREE bishop and in evo and hari's game, hari blundered his queen :O actually, the game between hazwan and i didn't get to finish up our game, but hazwan ADMITTED that he was losing. he's denying it now, but dear hazwan, you DID admit. hee ;)


after that, football :) evo, hazwan, sehran, zafri and me were in a team, and hari, ashman, jannah and andrew were in the other. and, our team lost. 4-1. lol. ashman scored a hat-trick :O and haha, i realised something. guys don't dare to snatch the ball from girls, no matter how easy it might be XD there was a time where andrew could've taken the ball from me so easily, but he backed off XD haha :)


prefects meeting at 3. i hate datin, that's all i have to say.


overall, today was quite fun :) 


ps: hari was talking to BIRDS. 'OI TALK LAH' XD

YESTERDAY.
talking about neopets and pokemons and OTHER STUFFS with lynn, ashman, hari, and kuok fung.
kuok fung told us that defiance once named himself LAURENCE, and mdm ho said that he has an identity crisis.
rehearsal for hari anugerah cemerlang. chess-ed.
argued with hazwan. :D
(it was a HUGGGGGGEE argument okay? -.- it went on and on and on, from the dewan to the class and all the way when we were walking out of school. oh and it was LOUDDDDDD. there was loads of shouting, NO! I WON! YOU LOST! and ADMIT IT ALREADY, YOU LOST. COME ON LAH -.-' etc etc LAWL) -.-


TODAY
chemistry. WHAT THE CRAP DOES FIRDAYU HAVE AGAINST ME?!
physics. got rotan-ed cause we were late. ughh.
hosting thingy.


permainan dalaman- hazwan, sehran and andrew bought DOMINOS :O haha. i DIPAKSA oleh everyone to eat a piece -.-' siao. played against shman, mior, his friend, and sehran. OBVIOUSLY, i lost to ashman. what i didn't expect was to lose so terribly. i think most of the game went on with me repeating deep down, OW. OW OW OW. lesson learned: NEVER EVER play with ashman ever again. not until i'm ready. which will be a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time from now. it really pissed me off that i lost so terribly -.- gr. i hereby promise to never play with ashman ever again. and shman, stop saying that i bully people. you bullied me. heh :P
won against mior. won against his friend, TWICE (: won against sehran :D WEEEEEEEEEEE! :)
*tergila-gila happy*
then, we played TRIPLE CHESS. first time :O the two people on the side pass their taken? pieces to the middle person, and middle person passes their again, taken? pieces to either side of the table. their choice. it was beta vs epsilon, which means, hari, ashman and me vs sehran, hazwan and andrew. i can't remember the final result, cause the main thing i remember is loads of yellings of 'PIECES, I NEED PIECES!' haha XD


plus, the argument/ debate between me and hazwan isn't over yet. stay tuned. and dear hazwan, YOU LOST. GIVE UPPP! ;D

stuck in this situation and i'm not happy with it. it's getting better now, but there's still a long way to go.


thanks to lynn, jannah and evo. because of them, i feel a slight bit of this being carried off my shoulders. laughing helps, it really helps. thank god we always laugh the crap outta ourselves :)

i wish i could take back everything i said and did. i wish this never happened. i wish things would go back to normal. 


i wish i wasn't stuck in this situation.

O________O

wow, shman. wowwwwwww O.o

from 'LOW JUN JIAN, GRRRRR.' to this XD

plus, what happened to the ashman that we knew, huh? 

the noisy, sarcastic one?

:D

hazwan called, cause he was lazy to reply my msgs :D

just heard from him that. uh. he won 3 games, drew 2, and lost 2. which means he has 4/7 points. and hazwan’s really happy cause he isn’t the worst player there -.-‘

Ashman, instead. won 5 games and lost 2, which means 5/7 points. and he has a chance of getting into mssm, but has to play in the playoffs first. hazwan also told me that shman actually beat ONE OF THE strongest attacking players, syakir. one of the BEST ATTACKING PLAYERS. and thus, he is VERY VERY HAPPY. as hazwan said, ‘syakir is probably crying in a corner right now’.

I miss Ashman. and I miss hazwan. seriously I do :/

i hope those two will come back. FAST! 

talked to hazwan. he updated me about everything. their team game actually started today. and they were against gombak team. and they trashed them 4-0! yeah! :D good for them :)

and hazwan thought that it was jason who went to the hospital. when it was actually me. when i told him it was me, he went 'oh so you have h1n1?' -.- typical hazwan. still teasing. talking to hazwan is DEFINITELY tons better than talking to ashman. i can't get a single reaction from him -.-

s

after talking to hazwan, i asked for ashman. somehow i felt as though shman wasn't that happy to hear from me :/ and uh. oh well, actually there's nothing for me to tell. sigh. it's a typical ashman thing. he's happy, but he isn't sure if he wants to go for mssm. sigh.

ah well, then, i asked for hazwan again. hazwan told me that they were watching the under 12 play. and he said 'they're can't keep quiet, they're worse than you" -_________________-

i have nothing to say. said our goodbyes, and i HAVE to try to call them tmrw!

i just watched back my game, jaslynjas94 against that dammit SLICKSTA. and guess whut? i DIDN'T SEE A DAMMIT FREE QUEEN. I COULD'VE TAKEN HIS QUEEN FOR FREE -.- WTH LAH! ;(


agak menyakitkan hati ;(


OKAY WAIT.
i just finished watching it. and WTH WAS I DOING? there were SO MANY FREE PIECES. GR GR GRRRRRRRRRRR. ugh. CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T SEE ;(

basically:
lynn didn't come today, so i spent the whole day with haraye and kuok fung :D

updates (!)
skipped sch, went to sjmc today, to uh, check on my ankle since it's been giving me problems this past week. and yeah, the fractured one. took an xray and guess whut? the results: MY FRACTURE IS FULLY HEALED! i can do ANYTHING i want :D haha! and the problems are caused by nerves, which will wear off. yay! :D


ashman and hazwan are currently in sabak bernam, competing in the chess msss. i kinda miss those two :/


i'm so lazy to go to sch tmrw. and windows live messenger isn't working! :( i can't sign in :( the thingy just keeps going round and round and round and round and it doesn't stop :(
GR. 

are you gonna stay with the one who loves you

or are you going back to the one you love?

someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you

someone's gonna thank their stars aboveeee

the night before life goes on :)

i'm bored, so:
:D

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS, NO CHEATING!
4. Tag as many friends as you want!
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
fight for this love - cheryl cole

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
uprising - muse

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
sos - jonas brothers

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

battlefield - jordin sparks

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
lonely - britney spears

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
dreaming with a broken heart - john mayer

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
broken man - boys like girls

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
barriers - david archuleta

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
mama do - pixie lott

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
home - chris daughtry

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND/s?
tim mcgraw - taylor swift

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

everything you're not - demi lovato

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
ignorance - paramore

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

lucky - jason mraz

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
should've said no - taylor swift

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
come back to me - utada

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
love drunk - boys like girls

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

no promises - shayne ward

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
naturally - selena gomez

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
baby one more time - britney spears

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
nothing in this world - paris hilton

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

the night before life goes on - carrie underwood


lawl. some are agak accurate :O


i'm tagging:
lynn, jannah, evo, haraye, andrew, shman. this'll help revive SOME of your blogs!