gardenias :D

hmm. my favourite flowers??
shld be gardenias (:
ahha ;D



they're just so pretty :D ritee??
and they signify secret love/ joy/ good luck.
they're mostly found in white
SO CANTIKKKK *sigh* (;

i just hateeee my family ritee now. sheesh
guess what?! my phone got RAMPAS-ED. by who? my dad. wth?!
that's SO FRIGGING EVIL. i loveee my phoneeee :/
why laa?! wthwthwth?! fckityfckityfck.!
I WANT MY PHONEE BACK !! :'(

awwwww, i miss youuu :/

started missing you already. sheesh -_______-
i can't believe myself =.=

guys, have a happy hari raya :D
anddd, uhh, HAPPYHOLIDAYS??!!! :)

MOST STRESSING WEEK EVER !! OMGOMG !!

i wanna go somewhere far away,
forget everything i've been through.

i dont know whats going on,
i dont know what to do anymore,
i just want to leave,
and never come back.
never to walk this road again,
the path created out of tears,
out of all the scars and torn pieces,
turning away from it.
-jas-

sometimes i feel like i'm all alone in this world. with no one else who even cares.
maybe i'm a failure. maybe i really am.
i wonder what they think of me.
who am i in their eyes?

no one knows the way i really am,
no one knows the way i feel,
NO ONE KNOWS.
its all hidden behind the smiles,
behind the laughter,
no one actually realises that those things,
are just shadowing the pain.


- " To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing " -

- " The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned "
- William Somerset Maugham -

lynnn !! i survived !! i didn't die, hah !! i spent the WHOLE DAY without chess at all !!
hah. unlike some people >.<

10 minutes without chess,
and thennn CHESS CHESS CHESS :D
haha.

so the verdict : I AM NOT CHESS-OBSESSED !! YAYY !! :)

ahha. lynn dared me to NOT play chess for one day. fineeee :D its not like i'll die or something. lynn !! i'm not kamal or nafis or haziq okaaay?? i won't die !! if the three of them just don't play chess for one day, they MIGHT diee :P haha. not mee !! i'm not a chess geek laaa >.<

SO, I ACCEPT UR DAREEE !! HAHA :)

MY BELOVEDs :P

OHHKAY. I'M DOING THIS CAUSE LYNN ASKED ME TO UPDATE, AND MAKE FRIEND FILES . SO HERE I AM. AHAH :)

1. LYNN :D


ahha. here goes. :D this is my best bestie EVER, lynno . i've known lynn since uhh, 5 years?? WOWEEE. i still remember the times, where we played badminton with each other. the times when we made REALLY LOOOOONGGG NECKLACES out of the flowers that we picked from our houses. we playes cops and robbers, chasing each other round and round and round and round. spraying each other with water, from the water guns, the hoses. OMG WET !! GAHHH !! :D i still remember those fond times. *sigh* riteee lynn??

she is one special gal who is hard to forget. she always makes me smile whenever i'm down ( which is most of the time ) and she knows whenever i have problems. although its badddd sometimes =.=

lynn, i loveeee youuu . lynn likes lin dan like mee ! and she loves her MANCHESTER UNITED. MANCHESTER UNITED SUCKS LAA, LYNNO !! and liverpool rocksss the worlddd !! yayy !! she also thinks that rooney is cute, OMG. no wayyyy !! rooney tak cutee punn !! ahha :D

i'm so lazy to write more laa, lynn !! i guess that's all . lastly, LYNN, I LOVEEE YOUUU SOOO MUCCCH. you know that ritee? (:


2. EVONIA / BABOON?? XD


okaaay. evonia is another very very very IMPORTANT person in my lifeee :) she always makes me laugh whenever i feel bad/ emo. you know how? by arguing with mr. king kong , duuh !! although i've only known her for less than a year, she knows me sooooo well :D its so tambifying. hah.

evonia loveesss ac milan's kaka. hmmph. tak hot punnn !! :P my evonia is my special baboon. SHE LOVES NAFIS !! and she tends to get JEALOUS :D of meee !! yayy !! haha.

baboon is a prefect too, like meee !! ahha. at least i have a temannnn (:
I LOVEEE MY BABOON!!


3. JANOHHHH (:



there's only oneee word to describe janoh - GAYYYY :D janoh is always gayyy . she's like the gayest person everrrr :) sorry, darlinggg :P janoh understands mee, and she even created another name for mee - jess-leen . aww, how touchinggg. janoh is NOT A FOOTBALL FAN, unlike mee .. i've only known janoh less than a yearrr . i remember when i started being friends with lynn, i thought she was mad at mee >.< gosssh =".=" style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">what else?? hmm. janoh loves her taufik and sms. but kesian, jess is anti-sms. he's not cute punn !! hhmphh. however, i still loveee youuu and your gayness. oh yeah janoh has achieved OPTIMUM GAYNESS !! high 5 !!
remember what we saw kml do just now? he was raping ah keong OMGOMG!!

4. HAZIQ, NAFIS AND KAMAL.


uhhhh. starting with haziq, maybe? haziq is just plain GAY. and i mean REALLY REALLY GAY. TRUST MEE !! beware of haziq !! he just loves scaring mee, don't you , haziq?? and he loves chess. i mean , all those 3 guys up there just LOVE CHESS TOO MUCH. THEY'LL DIE WITHOUT CHESS FOR ONE DAY !! SERIOUSLY. sheesh =.= even i'm not THAAAT crazy !!!! haziq is like a brother to mee. he always helps me out :D thank you, haziq !!

and then , there's nafis. mr. lelaki sejati, not like KAMAL !! hmmph. nafis is also a chess freakkk !! i think i remember, the 1st sentence he ever said to me was " JAS, JUM MAIN CHESS ! " hah. both nafis and kml hv a deal with mee , WHOEVER CURSES GETS SLAPPED !! ahha, so much FUNN !! nafis understands mee !! I LOVEEE MY/ EVONIA'S NAFIS (: haha.

lastly, kml. ohh the camel. i've only known him for a short while.. kml is just, the best !! he knows how to cheer me up. and he's emo , just like mee !! although he's always emo =.= kml understands mee !! riteee? he thought me not to be emo. simply, KAMAL ROCKS.
although his flu sucks. his virus just spreads everywhereee !! and always, i'll be the one who catches his cold. and thenn, you know laaah :) but still, kml is MINEEE , MINEEE , MINEEE !! I WOVEEEE YOUUU ;D

5. LEE KING KONG !!


leeking :) one of the most special people in my lifeee :D hah. he is just too blurr for words. seriously. and he is a PENAKUT !! ahha. really really !! HE LOVES MANCHESTER UNITED, like lynn. sheesh. always arguing with mee =.= but mostly, he lovesss arguing with evonia !! one day without arguing is like the end of the world . :P leeking is gayyy , i mean , all the guys in 2 omg are.!! he always knows when i'm pissed. haha, and sometimes he tries to help , although he doesn't succeed. leeking, thnk u for being who u are. i love you? ( maybe :D )


OMGOMG THIS IS JUST LOADS OF TYPING. =.= AND I'M SO LAZY. to be continued.... :)

pics?

here are some pics i caught during tuition :)

- teck shen -

- wai kit -

yousee? hah. i DARED to put the pics . hhmph. :P

MU FANS??

to all the MU fans out there -- MU SUCKSSSS !! :P
hah. LIVERPOOL WON!! MU LOST !! HAHAHAHA.

SUCKISH RITEEE? :D
lol. O.o

words unspoken in between

i miss you.
i miss everything about you.
i miss talking to you,
i miss sitting with you
while you help me out with all my problems.
i miss you giving me advice,
i miss you helping me out.
no one understood me like you did,
and i guess no one ever will.

there are just too many things,
too many secrets,
too many words left unsaid,
too many things kept in the dark,
too many things i hide.

because of you,
i don't dare to hope,
cause i'm afraid i'll be disappointed,
as i always have,
because of you,
i lost everything.
what more could i lose?
i'm drowning in my problems,
its just too hard to face them anymore,
everything that i do,
just seems to make it worse.

it just feels like,
everyone i meet will stab me in the back,
its just the matter of time.
i've lost trust,
lost hope,
maybe i've just lost everything.

-jas-

i dont know why, but my life is getting worse and worse every single day.
its like i'm just rolling downhill and i don't know how to go up again. *sigh*

dear kamal suria,
i've caught your flu AGAIN!!
omggggggg ];
i feel like dyinggg =.=

KAMALLL!!!!!! >.<

i dont post that much anymore, i noticed.
what's there to post?
my life is just getting more miserable and miserable every single day!! =.=''
GOSSSSSH :/
i need my lynnay, baboon , jnnh , and KAMAL !! and maybe, leeking? :D
where are u guys when i need youuuu? (:

YILING !!

DOING THIS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF YILING :D
OMGGGGG.
GO SEE YILING'S BLOG TO FIND OUT THE QUESTIONS :)
THIS ARE JUST THE ANSWERS :P

1. jas, jess-leen, jasleen? idontknowwwww?

2. nthing. i go to bed when i'm just DEAD TIRED. POOF. *falls asleep*

3. .......??

4. the smell of chocolateeee :D yayyy

5. video games? not my type laa :P

6. CHOCOLATEEE !! DUHH.

7. i trust everyone, especially people that i know. i know its a badddd trait, eventually i get disappointed. :/

8. NOT AGAINNNNN.??

9. some stuff which i would rather keep PRIVATE :) i know i've been emo recently :D

10. i dont know. hopefully? (;

11. hanging out with ALL MY BUDDIES 24/7

12. myspace, all ur blogs :D

13. awwww, LONG LIST. LAZZZZYYY

( SKIPPING NO. 14 :P )

15. camp rock's gotta find you ? yayy :D

16. jeans and t-shirt.

17. RECEIVE RECEIVE !! YAYY !!

18. OHH GRAB IT AND RUNNN !! DUUH :)

19. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

20. nothing? :P

TO YILING :
sorry if this is disappointing. i know i have a MISERABLE LIFE. YAYY :D haha.

just 3 words - I AM PISSED.

SERIOUSLY. EVERYTHING JUST PISSES ME OFF. DONT ASK WHY.!

LEEKING :)

DEDICATION FOR LEEKING :)

i want you sooo much,
you make my mouth water ,
my saliva dripping,
DRIP DROP,
my tummy is growling, ROARRRRR :)
as i stareeeee at youuuu
i want you, i need you,
can't anyone feel my pain?
hoping that you'll come to me,

ohh DONUTS :)

haha. XD

where there is love, there's hate,
where there is joy, there's sadness,
where there is light, there's darkness,
where there is comfort, there's pain ..

for every good thing there is,
the next is two times worse :/

but kamal's right :)
there's no point whining over this stuff.
*sigh*

i need to stop being emo :/
i wonder if its THAAAT easy >.<

thank you to kamal :)
i wanna stop being emo !!

yayyyyy !!
=.=

dont ask me why i'm being emotional,
you won't get your answer. (:

i trusted you,
i didn't know better,
i was too naive,
i needed you :/

why did you have to lie?
why did you turn away?
its always just-
why, oh why?

questions left unanswered,
mysteries left unsolved,
i have nothing more to say. :/
*sigh*

life is so pointless, so meaningless,
my world is useless,
i dream of death,
i wonder how it would be?

i don't wanna care anymore,
i don't wanna think,
i don't want to face the world again,
why must everything be so unfair?

everyone seems to turn away from me,
i'm always losing hope,
maybe its just time to leave,
maybe its time for me to go :/

change?

there was only ONE thing i wished for when we changed class , back upstairs - hopefully, no one would start to change .. when i went to school last morning, i had a really really bad feeling, ( maybe it was an omen? ) that things WOULD change. AND THINGS REALLY DID CHANGE .. i did try to talk to uhh, lets call him B . i tried talking to him, calling his name so many times. and still, no reply. it was as though i wasn't even there, as though i was invisible. he could at least have said SOMETHING, ANYTHING! to me, but he didn't. it was as though, since he had his best friends, why does he need us anymore?? he acted as though nothing was wrong, eventhough i was kinda giving him angry looks the whole day >.< style="font-style: italic;">OVERREACTING AGAIN ) but i'm not !!! he promised me he won't change.!! and he doesn't even care? he usually does, if i say those stuff. the worst thing was when i came home, i really wanted to tell someone that i got the AJK pengawas - AJK REKOD DAN DATA, so i actually typed out a msg, clicked send, and sent it to him. then, i remembered. HE'S NOT TALKING TO MEE ! so , i clicked CANCEL. omg that was SADDENING !! i needed to tell someone !! i wanted to tell someone about it, and the person who would actually say - congratulations, etc. was not talking to me! wth?!HEWASN'TTALKINGTOMEHEWASN'TTALKINGTOME!! *SOB* i was so distresseddddd :/ OMGOMG.

and last night, i had this freaky dream. evo and i were talking abt ' B ' and i think his friend ( anonymous :) ) heard and told him. then he came to us and said - YOU THINK YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME? NOLAAAH! U GUYS WERE JUST SUBSTITUTES FOR MY BESTFRIENDS ONLY. NOW THAT I HAVE THEM, WHAT FOR DO I NEED YOU?!

OMGOMG. GAHHHHH =.=

but i've learned something. never get ur hopes up TOO HIGH. because people can easily crush them ,and it'll only cause disappointment. so, THINK PASSIVE. at least, thats for mee :/ I HATE MYSELF. ( FULL STOP )

OMGOMG. I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED !!!!
teck shen changed school without even telling meeee !! *sob*
aww, no fairrrr !!

sometimes i think i'm just being too emo, rightttt? =.="

ohh tambiiiii i miss nafis (:
i want his sweeeeets !!!


:D I KNOW I'M A TAMBI !!

and who's A??

part 2 :D

amir :) sorry if i offended you !!

part 1 :D

TAMBI GILEEEEE !! I FORGOT NIKY !!!!! OMGOMG I NAK BUAT BARUUU :)