A good read.

Letter to the 13-Year-Old Me

So it just hit me, I'll be turning 20 in a few days time. The big 2-0. After this week, I can no longer call myself a teenager, oh gosh. It's not about the number, though. It's more like, ... HAHAHA I'm never good at explaining myself -____- Just feeling a little contemplative about how the years have gone by so fast (oh gosh I sound like those old aunties and uncles talking about life) & I'm just pondering about how far I've come since my teenage-hood began.

Basically, it's gotten me thinking about who I was at 13, and all the things I wish I knew then. And so begins my so-called letter.

....................................................................

Dear 13-year-old Jas, 

HAHAHAHA this is weird. Why did I even think of doing this again? Okay okay, I'll try & do this properly. Let's restart.

Hi. It's 19-year-old you here. Bet you're wondering how I we turned out, right? Well, I guess we turned out okay. We're now studying at the University of Leicester, UK. Jengjengjenggggg, I bet you didn't expect that! You always thought that Australia, or New Zealand would be the place for you. So much for that, hahah. It's a long story (not really) how that changed, but you'll find out yourself soon enough. As for what we're studying, we've finally decided on Medicine. 

You know what, let's skip the chitchat & get straight down to business. I honestly don't know how to start, but yet there's so many things I wish I could tell you. I could go on and on, paragraph after paragraph, but that would probably be going too far. So yeaaaaaah, let's make a list. I quite like lists now, fyi. Hahahah.

1. Things are going to be okay. Cliche, I know, but very, very important that you hold on to this. In the next few years, you're going to go through a lot. It's going to hurt badly, and there are going to be many, many days where all you want to do is curl up in bed and cry, and that's alright. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to not be okay- as long as you keep your head up & stay strong, because you will get through it all, & the sun's gonna shine again!

2. You're amazing just the way you are. I know sometimes you feel like you've to change, to be someone different so maybe, maybe, more people will like you, or etc. That's not necessary. You don't need others' approval- just keep being you, keep doing what you're doing. You're gonna be a fine lady, if I may say so myself ;)

3. I know how you look at yourself in the mirror & how you hate what you see, but believe me: you are indeed beautiful. And you're not fat. I think I need to repeat myself on that point: YOU'RE NOT FAT. You have to stop thinking that- throw that mindset out of the window, now. You're gorgeous, love- and if you won't believe anyone else, believe me, believe yourself. You're not a typical beauty, but that doesn't mean you're any less attractive than anyone else. Love yourself, please.

4. You don't always have to be the best. As this point, this is mainly going to apply to your studies, but same goes for other aspects as well. I know you've been brought up to always want to come first, to always be Number 1. That's fine, but it's okay even if you aren't. In this life, there's always going to be people better than you, and that's just something you've to learn to accept. Competitiveness is fine, but don't let it overwhelm you. As long as you've tried your best, that's good enough.

5. Believe in yourself. You ARE good enough. There's no point in others believing in you if you don't do it for yourself.

6. Hold on to God. I know you're not the strongest believer in God right now, but you'll find yourself drawing close to him soon enough. He's going to show himself in ways you never imagined. No matter what you do, always remember Him. Whether you're up or down, He's always gonna be your constant, He'll always be by your side. Draw closer and keep seeking Him.

7. Don't just believe what the world tells you. Just because everyone believes in something, doesn't mean you have to as well. Learn to see and analyse things for yourself, then come up with your own ideas and opinions. They don't always have to concur with what everyone else thinks.

8. Appreciate the people around you- they aren't going to be around forever. Spend more time with your family & friends while you still can- being miles away surely takes that away from you. Take the time to tell them how you feel, and don't be afraid to look stupid while doing so.

9. You're going to hate hearing this, but mummy and daddy are right. Not always, but in most things, they are. You probably think I've gone nuts, but trust me, I haven't. As you grow older, you'll come to see things their way. '

10. Do what makes you happy. Read. Sing. Write. Hang out with your friends. Eat. :P

11. Listen before you speak. Other people's words, their thoughts? They're just as valuable as yours.

12. You're never going to be able to please everyone.

13. You don't need that blade, put it down. It's not going to help- a temporary fix isn't going to solve your problem. Talk to your friends- Lynn, Jannah & Evo. They'll be more help, more than that blade can ever be.

14. Your smile is your best accessory. Plenty of people are gonna tell you that, but I want you to know that now. Bring that with you, wherever you go, wherever you are.

15. Do things because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. If you can't do it whole-heartedly, maybe it's best to not do it at all.

16. The world isn't always perfect, life doesn't always go the way we want it, people aren't always good. Don't let all that, make you hard. Keep seeing the positive side in things, that's the way to go :)

17. You're gonna meet a guy named Shman in Form 3. You're right, he is indeed a nerd.

18. Every relationship requires effort. If you don't put in effort, it'll just die off. You've to keep trying, keep fighting, to keep it alive.

19. You're gonna be in relationships, and while you're in them, you're gonna think you're in love. When you actually do fall in love, it's different. You'll know.

& more here.

Aaaaaand that's all for now, I guess. I hope, when you feel unsure or insecure or whatever it is, you'll take another look at this letter and it'll give you the boost you need. Not that you need any, actually. You did fine without this in the first place, hahahah.

As for me, I wish I could say that I've it all figured out. But that's not the case. There are days when I feel like I'm merely playing at being an adult, but maybe that's how everyone feels, & maybe that's how you get there.

Love,
19-year-old Jas

Speed Writing: 5 Minutes

Warning: Am a complete mess as I'm writing this. Read at your own risk. 

Listening to Ed Sheeran's 'Kiss Me' right now, it's one of my favourite songs recently. But not today- all I really want to do is to just curl under my duvet and cry. I have no idea what's gotten into me today, but I just feel really ugh, if ugh were a feeling. It's just another one of those days, I guess. I had the best wake up call anyone could have, so I woke up feeling pretty okay. Had a good morning as well, cooking with Phoebe & talking to her parents & all, and then had to prepare for a presentation with the group. I was okay in the first lecture as well, just bored. Then, in group work, this wave of whatever this is, just completely overwhelmed me. Maybe it was the questions, I can't put my finger on what exactly it is, but I just felt so frustrated and annoyed and just plain upset. And that draaaaaagged through the second lecture and well, even now when I'm back home. Which is why I'm hiding out in my room now- I just don't want to upset everyone else. Maybe I'll just do what I said I wanted to. 

One of the worst things about not being home are the nightmares. You just never really know. 

Such a great morning, such a great way to wake up :') 

Conversations

Talking about a friend of mine who wasn't feeling well, then:

'Bbb I think I'm sick too'

Sick how? *shocked emoji*

Lovesick HEHEHEHEHE 

Walaooooo scared me *angry emoji* 

Indeed, buli itu tanda sayang ;3

Believe.

[bih-leev]

verb (used without object), believed, believing

1. to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.

It's funny how some things can make you so happy, yet so sad at the same time. Sigh 

It's my last night home for the next many, many few months, and as tired as I am, I really don't want to fall asleep. It's 1.43am, past midnight so well, today is the day. But I just don't want to wake up and have that realisation and let it sink in. Because you know, when you haven't slept, it still feels it's part of one day eventhough it's past midnight. I really, really don't wanna go back. I know I'm going to be okay but I know the first few days, weeks maybe, are going to be tough, having to readjust. Most importantly, I'm worried about some other things- things that I hope are going to be okay.

I feel like I've more to lose this time round, and I'm scared. 

Blessed Beyond Belief.

On Friday, Lynn whatsapp-ed me, asking me if I was free Saturday morning. Sehran was back again, she said, & he wanted to meet up. Shman could make it as well, so the plan was to have brunch together on Saturday. Of course I said yes- I initially thought last week would be my last chance to see Sehran, and I really really wanted to spend time with Shman while he was still free, & of course, to hang with Lynn after one week away from her #clingyfriend heh :S

Part of our conversation went like this:

*Important for later

Meanwhile, I was also whatsapp-ing KFung, who sent me this:

*Also important for later

Anywaaaaaays, Lynn picked me up on Saturday, and off we went! Both Shman & Sehran had some other stuff to do apparently, so they went on their own. We were arriving at Oasis when Lynn took a wrong turn then went 'JAAAAAAS WHY NEVER TELL ME' >________> I wasn't sure of the way myself, how to tell la ish. Arrived at Tappers a while later, and Shman was already there waiting. I was about to take my seat when Shman insisted that he wanted me to sit to his left (which also faced the outside world & meant that my back was towards the rest of the restaurant). I didn't suspect anything la cuz his reasoning was that he wanted to camwhore with me with the Tappers sign at the back -____- Lynn went to the bathroom cuz she was feeling a little uncomfortable (tummy pain heh) & Shman then decided to do a vlog. Again, not suspicious cuz it's such a Shman thing to do lol. The weird part tho, was when Lynn came back from the toilet & Shman gave her this look & went, 'In how many minutes is Sehran arriving?' He emphasized the 'Sehran' like hell, so that was pelik >______> Afterwards Lynn explained, saying they actually had a cake for me & they were just waiting for Sehran to arrive. Okay la, I accepted that explanation- plausible whuuuuuut. 

After a while, Shman's phone started vibrating so I picked it up la. It was an unsaved number, but I recognised it somehow, & since Sehran was supposed to be here, I thought it was Sehran's heh. Shman panicked & snatched the phone from me >______> Which I thought was pretty a-holing of him la at the time. 

Shman was still vlogging about 10 minutes later, Lynn was back & we were just talking about some random stuff. Suddenly, this thing person grabbed/ backhugged me & I freaked a little la. All I could see was said person's arm, who was clearly a guy, and since said person was considerably fair, I shrieked 'KEONG AH?' after a short process of elimination - the only 2 Chinese guys in the Mafias are Leek & KFung. Leek was in Bristol, KFung in Singapore (bored in his room apparently >______> ). The few other people Lynn would invite would be Theeb & Keong. It definitely wasn't Theeb's shade of colour, so must be Keong la right? Nope. Lynn & Shman started laughing their asses off, I turned around & it was KFung omgggggggg T________T 

I very nearly teared but thankfully(?) I went into my stunned state instead, so that was that. Immediately jumped up & hugged him to death, then scolded him for lying to me hahahah. The rest of the vlog was of me telling Shman to 'switch the thing off' & trying to hide face heh. It really was the best surprise ever. In Chinese, I'd say, mou dak deng. 

Sehran came after a bit, having missed all of the excitement. Later on, I found out that 

1. KFung actually sent the toll message to the wrong person, heh. He meant to send it to Lynn, but instead accidentally sent it to me.  Lucky for him, 'toll' seemed like an appropriate typo for 'toilet', & it really wasn't weird for him to whatsapp me from the toilet >_____>

2. When Lynn said she was too busy working to teman me on Friday, she was actually picking up KFung.

3. Lynn purposely took the wrong turn because she was worried we would bump into Shman & KFung on the road.

4. They'd wanted to capture the moment, & Shman went, 'leave it to me.' Genius with his vlog idea gr.

5. KFung's 'I is so bored in my room' message was a huge lie.

6. The reason Lynn kept going to the bathroom (apart from the fact that she indeed have a tummy ache) was that KFung was hiding there. Apparently he nearly got kicked out cuz he was there for so long HAHAHA 

7. The person who called Shman was actually KFung, not Sehran.

8. They were indeed planning a surprise for me :')

When we finally settled down enough, we had our lunch. Even deciding what to eat was difficult, the guys for some reason couldn't just order the same thing apparently. They all wanted Set 1, then someone insisted that since he was getting Set 1, another person had to order the last set, Set 15, & then the final person had to order the middle set. THE STUPIDITY. They were still going on about it even when the waiter was already taking the order -________- 

Happy, happy, happy :D

After lunch, we wanted to hang about for a little more. The guys wanted coffee, & we decided to walk around Oasis in search of a cafe. 

Walking also was a huge problem. Sehran especially kept complaining about how hot it was, and we'd only walked a VERY SHORT distance then. Then we finally spotted Pacific Coffee, but to get to the entrance, we had to cross a bridge. Small bridge only la actually, those ones only for decoration. Shman did his usual dramatic acts on the bridge & well, this random passer by gave him judging looks. Typical hahahah.

Went in and while the guys were deciding what to order, Lynn and I were discussing our cravings for waffles. Eventually, we scrapped the coffee idea and decided to head to Inside Scoop instead! :D Oh and when  I say eventually, it took us ages to finally decide -_____- Walking back to the car, Sehran made even more noise about how we made him walk in the hot sun unnecessarily yada yada yada. #bising

The drive there was crazy omg. The guys were acting all insane, shrieking (not singing) songs, remixing them (eg: Somewhere Over The Rainbow), echoing each others words, playing with a stick they found in Lynn's car & trying to be the next KikiLala, & Sehran was using Lynn's monopod to comb our hair. Dying now just thinking about it HAHAHAHA :'D I have some of their antics on video, and it really doesn't get any better than that heh.

At Inside Scoop, 

We fed each otherrrrrrrrrrrr

So much loveeeeeeee <3 p="">

Ps: Note the knife that Sehran's holding on Shman's neck hahahah

Camwhoreddddddd

Excuse me ;)

This picture tho omg HAHAHAH :D :D :D 

Read more here as well! 

Disclaimer: As I'm typing this, it's 1am & I'm feeling quite tired so my brain isn't functioning as well as it usually is. Which is why the details are hazy, and I feel like I'm just going to let the pictures do most of the talking. 

After that, we headed back to Oasis to make more pictures! 

We didn't have a tripod, so taking group pictures was tricky, but we managed! We improvised by using Lynn's monopod & a potted plant heh heh. I swear, we really do need a personal photographer. We'd use them so much, they'd get used to random calls in the middle of the day that go something like this: 'Oasis Ara Damansara', 'Jas' house', or 'MMZ'- & they'd understand that they'd have to be there right away hahahah. If only. Once again, as we were taking pictures, people all over stared. And judged. And judged. And judged. It's so normal to us now, we just don't care anymore hahahah

We want youuuuuuu. Not :P

Mafia shot! :D We all look the part, & then there's Lynn, who looks more like an angry mum heh heh :P

Jumpshots taken using Lynn's 5S' slow mo function. Most of the video was us complaining about how hot it was heh

Since it was so hot, we decided to sit on the grass instead, still under the hot sun! #yay #sarcasmintended

The heat finally got too much to bear, so we headed to Old Town White Coffee!

Oh Sehran was still coming up with alternative uses for the monopod, & so far he'd come up with: comb, back scratcher, golf club, and at Old Town, he came up with: big boob detector wth >_____> Dong la serious. He had to leave after a while, so I said what would be my last goodbye to him for the next 9 months :(

This picture depicts our friendship. I always kena buli :(

Shman, KFung, Lynn & I stayed a little while longer, just talking. Headed back home after that, & Lynn dropped KFung off at my house so we could hang out a little more. 

Spent the next few hours just talking & lazing about, watching tv while my dad randomly burst in with questions and all. 

Afterwards, we all went out for dinner and rushed home, where I took a quick shower and rushed off to Space U8 to watch Maze Runner with KFung :) 

Movie was merely so-so, but the company made it so much better hahahah. He was trying to scare me throughout the movie & we kept making stupid jokes heh :P

Went back home after the movie, where we chitchatted for a little while more before he had to go. 

All in all, it was an amazing dayyyyyyyy, one that I don't think I'll forget for quite a while :')

And nowwwww, I'm just gonna continue with the day after because, well. 

Woke up early the next morning, KFung picked me up & we met up with Shman for mamak before sending him off. The car ride was a little more quiet than usual, probably because we were all feeling a little emotional I think? While waiting for KFung's departure time, we sat at the food court & just talked the time awayyyyy. Time flies when you really don't want it to, and before we knew it, it was 10 already. 

It was a really, really emotional goodbye for me, to be really honest. If I could, I swear I would've hopped on the bus as well, or even better, dragged him back to Bukit Jelutong, put him in my suitcase, & bring him to UK with me. Unfortunately though, those options aren't possible & well, life goes on. Oh & one more thing, I hate those escalators, that point of no return. From today onwards, I shall entitle them the name, 'Escalators of Doom'. Boo them. They suck :(

After KFung left, this happened. I'm really too tired to blog more than I should, so I'm just gonna redirect you to Shman's blog, sorreh :S 

Aaaaaaaaand that's all I guess! Before I end though, I just wanna write a few dedications to the few people that made one of the best days of my life possible.

Lynn & Shman, 

I love you two to the moon & back. I hope you two know how grateful I am for both of you. I think you guys knew exactly what I wanted, & needed, & you gave me exactly that. I had an amazing, amazing day with amazing, amazing people. Lynn, we've been friends for so long omgggggg & Shman, you've stuck with me through everything. & even with that, you guys never fail to surprise me with things beyond my imagination. I am infinitely blessed to have the both of you in my life, love y'all to the max k. Know that.

Sehran, 

I thought the weekend before last was the last time I was going to be seeing you, & we had such a great time. I remember you telling me that you were gonna be busy last weekend, & I was a bit disappointed because I really wanted to see you just once more at least. I don't know what 'negotiations' you were busy with, or if you were just joking about it (heh), but whatever it is, thank you so so so much for taking the time to come back once more. You have no idea how happy I was when Lynn told me you were coming down again, Lynn knew how much I'd want to see you, & she used that knowledge to get me to skip Streetfest >_____> Such a baichi. I had so much fun with your stupid jokes & typical annoyingness, laughing till my cheeks hurt hahahah. Once again just thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu for coming down. Love you loads Sehran Nagarajan- eventho you're super annoying and you piss me off at times.

KFung,

How do I even start? I desperately wanted to see you one more time before I left, and never in a million years would I have thought that I would actually get the chance to. When I turned and saw you standing there, I couldn't believe my eyes. That you were there. In the flesh. Standing right behind me. (Damn drama I know heh.) Dang it weh, I nearly cried. Thank you so so so so so so so so much omg- for coming back, I can only guess how mafan it must be; & for giving me the best surprise, ever. I'd honestly like to see anyone try to top that ;) It was such an amazing day spent with you, & eventhough I think we both feel we didn't do much, I enjoyed every second of it all :) Seeing you leave (again) was frigging heart-paining fml, but oh well. I hate that I'm gonna be so far away, what with everything that's going on, but I really do hope we'll be okay. Love you much :')

Finally done & it's already 2.13am. Heading to bed now, good night world! 

Stubble is sexy.

KFung has stubble.

Therefore, KFung is sexy. 

Eff this la. I really don't want to go.

If you've to convince yourself it's okay, then I guess it really isn't. 

Amazingly blessed. I couldn't ask for better friends. 

Full story soon! 

Life Lessons

Stepping stones to where you need to be.

*Picture stolen from Google

1. Learn to fight your own battles.
I've always been the type to shy away from any sort of confrontation. If an issue cropped out and the only way to fix it was to confront the other person, I'd rather hold it in and keep it within. It's become such a routine, pushing issues aside so as to not create an argument or so- I used to do it in my relationships, as well as my friendships. I guess the thing about 'solving' problems this way is that nothing is really solved- the unresolved issue hangs in the air and it can cause resentment to build up. One other thing  I do is I hide behind others- my friends, my family- and get them to solve things for me. Which really is pretty childish. Recently however, I've started letting myself confront issues and it's been going okay so far. I haven't ruined any friendships by letting myself be completely honest, which is what I've always been afraid of. I'm also starting to learn not to hide behind my friends- I'm a big girl now, I should be able to face my own demons. 

2. Your resolve may break, and that's okay.
Going to UK, I've done things I told myself I wouldn't do. For instance, I promised myself I wouldn't touch alcohol while I was there and well, fat chance of that now. To be honest, I don't regret it- most of our funnest nights in Leicester were our casual drinking nights. But that doesn't mean that I've completely forgotten the resolution. Instead, I've updated it a little- I know my limits and I try not to surpass that. I'm not saying that making excuses for breaking your resolutions is a good thing, but everyone makes mistakes, so learn from them. Fall once, fall twice, fall better (If I'm not mistaken this actually is a phrase). Learn to be okay with failing once in a while, don't beat yourself up about it, and move on.

3. People will hurt you, that doesn't mean you should hurt them back.
There's a verse in the bible that goes

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person, but whosoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. (Matthew 5:38-45) 

Fighting fire with fire never works, in the end both individuals will end up scathed. And well, that's how wars begin- do you really want your life to be a warzone? There are so many other ways to deal with people who've hurt you that don't involve exacting revenge - confrontation, avoidance, etc. With that, forgiveness. Forgiveness is difficult, but it's the only way to free not just them, but more importantly, yourself. Why would you keep all that resentment within when you can be free of it all? Remember that revenge is in God's hands, or well, that karma bites back. 

4. Sometimes, support is all you need.

At times, when you share your problems with someone, you seek advice. Other times, all you need is support. I believe, most people already know what they should do, they just need that little push for them to take that little step. It's not that advice and the occasional nagging doesn't help, sometimes we need that as well, but a small 'We believe in you' or 'We have your back no matter what' is worth so much more. This was particularly evident last Sunday morning when the mafias (xidiots- pending) were having our open talk. I've been dealing with something for quite a while now, and I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't convince myself it was the right thing to do. I was delaying and putting it off, because I just wasn't sure. But the support and love (puke puke) I got that night, that was my catalyst- I did what I had to do and things are improving. So now I'd just like to give a shout out to the people who've been my pillars - the mafias (lazy la wanna list one by one, y'all know who you are anyways), Jason Ling, Ching Siau Chian, Eugene Goh, Phoebe Tan, Zhia Lim, Jason Cheong, Ng Lean Loong. Sin Wai Kit. Thank you, thank you, thank you :')

5. If people want to leave, let them.

I've said this once before, 'People who really matter will fight not only to stay in your life, but to be part of it.' Friendship is a two way thing; there can't be only one person who's putting in effort while the other person doesn't bother. Why waste all your efforts if they aren't reciprocated? Sadly, you can't keep all the friends you have, so choose wisely- choose the people whom you know want you in their lives for better or for worse. I, for one, rather have few friends whom I know will fight for what we have, instead of many, many friends who can walk away just as easily as they entered. 

Maybe some people may disagree with whatever I've written, but that's okay. We can't always be right, I guess. But hey, I'm still learning; :)

I know they mean well, but sometimes their ideas are just so ridiculous & they're not willing to budge. I miss the freedom I have in the UK- why can't they realise that I've been on my own for months now, and I know how to take care of myself?

6-7 Sept '14

Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Had an early start to the day- I woke up at 7am. After showering & prepping, I headed to Evo's & Jannah's to pick them up, & we went to MMZ for breakfast with Lynn & JiAnne before our photoshoot. It was quite funny, heading into MMZ- we'd dressed prettily for our photoshoot but it was so overdressed for mamak hahahah :P Some people actually gave us looks, oh well. Let 'em judge. 

During breakfast, Lynn swore about something, to which I nagged her 'Dress so ladylike but mouth so foul' heh heh :P & that was also when we created a new trend: CB now means Cute Bae :P Another thing that happened was that one by one, we all started getting stomach pains #bestfriendproblems #everythingistransferable

After that, we headed to botanical gardens in KL! Yep, travelled all the way just for our photoshoot cuz we wanted pretty pictures ;) After spending 2 1/2 hours there, here are some of the resulting photos! :)

This would make a great album cover ;)

The story behind 'Walnuts': Lynn created a whatsapp group for us girls. She typed 'Wanitas' as the group name, but it autocorrected to Walnuts & the name stuck :')

Jannah judgin' :P

Lynn fed up with me dy hahahah :P

I'm at that stage where I really don't care what other people think, as long as the people most important to me know the truth so yeah >___> 

I was helping Lynn get wind in her hair by fanning her using cardboard HAHAHA. YOU'RE WELCOME BAE :*

 After taking the first picture, Lynn went 'Omg it's like he's staring at my boobs!' HAHAHAH 

Behind the scenes of the previous pic :)

Typical: whenever Lynn's arm goes up, Evo's mouth will be open :P

After Jannah came back from the toilet, I shrieked 'I missed youuuuuuuuuu!' & hugged her heh heh :P

JiAnne! :*

'Twas so hard not to laugh, staring at Lynn like that :'D62

People who are hot & cold make us sad :(

If you like it, put a ring on it ;)

THE GRASS WAS SO PRICKLY. But for the photos, we endureddddd. 

Genuine laughing picture :')

Jannah left with Pak Ajit after, because she had to send a friend off at KLIA. Meanwhile, the rest of us stopped by GongCha for a drink. Lynn fabulously sipped her GongCha while driving- eventhough she nearly got caught by a police officer, doing the exact same thing a few days ago hahahah.

Got home then went for lunch with KF & the family. Surprisingly, we were all colour coded except for daddy heh heh. 

After lunch, went back home then KF did his assignment. Afterwards we just hung about for a bit, talking & killing time till the BBQ. & there was this one thing we talked about which has been on my mind till now sigh >____>

At about 6.40, we went off to buy drinks then headed straight for D'Puncak. Waited for everyone to come for a bit, & there was this parking confusion hahah. We all ended up parking at Tropika 2, as suggested by moi ;) 

Most of the time, KFung & Matt tended the BBQ while the rest of us lepak-ed & took pics heh. Paiseh but if I helped, I'll probably end up destroying everything :S 

This BBQ was actually a joint celebration for Jannah's farewell, as well as Sehran + Hari's birthday celebrations. So when Jannah came, we actually had a banner prepared for her :D Don't think she expected it, weeeee :D

Gonna let the pics do the talking: 

Waiting for everyoneeeeee

Kinda forced most of the guys to pose with this sign hahahah 

Our boys hard at work :)

Sehran was being super annoying that night >_____>

If you can't see the picture clearly, the sign Sehran's holding says 'Jas' Property' ;)

Evo got forced by Sehran HAHAHAHA

Shman looks like he's holding a poop HAHAHA :'D

Fed this dong cuz he was too busy working to eat, & he decided to eat my fingers as well as the chicken -____-

Saraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :)

While we were still BBQ-ing, one of the security guards came up to us and tried to halau us. It was really ridiculous because it was public area, so he really didn't have the right to try and shoo us off. According to him, public property was only open to public till 10pm, which was nonsense to us la. We talked to him and tried to persuade him & he allowed us to stay, but he loitered around which bothered us. Since initially my parents did suggest to have the BBQ at my house, we decided to finish up & continue our party to my house.

Our cars! 

Driving to my house itself, was an adventure. 

1. Had to wait for everyoneeeeeeeeeeeee

2. Hari drove dangerously & main cut into entah siapa punya lane >______>

3. Jannah slowed to a stop at the junction & no one else realised but me (I was directly behind her) & that nearly caused a crash with a domino effect -____-

4. Told the security guard at my area that 'Yang belakang ni semua kawan-kawan saya' which translates to 'All these cars behind are my friends'. He gave me this look & asked how many cars, & well, there were 6 :P

5. Lynn, who came afterwards cuz she had to take stuff from her house, told me that the guard just let her in cuz he expected that we were having a party HAHAHA.

Look at that whole row of cars! :O 

Shoo-ed everyone upstairs so that Matt, Lynn, Shman & I could get the cakes ready. Just as Shman wanted to light the candles, Sehran came down & we panicked. Shman immediately put down the lighter & tried to cover as much as he could, while I ran straight into the back kitchen heh. Luckily, Sehran had gone straight for Jason, watching him play dota. I halau-ed him up, told him not to bug my parents HAHAHA. He got kinda offended la but idc, it was necessary at the time. 

We took this picture first, then

Sehran went, 'Eh I'm taller!'

Opening their gifts! :D

We got Hari a fisheye lens & monopod, & for Sehran, a gamer mouse! Gifts that suit them heh heh 

Idiots smothering Sehran after his touching speech :P

Played Mafia for a bit after that, then Jannah had to leave so we took group pics:

Finally reunited after 1 1/2 years! :')

This idiotic series of pics omg HAHAHAHA 

Wanted a pic with the guys, but before that- hair checkkkkk #vainpots

Love all the pics omgggggg

Typical. 

Evo: *Cap bagus* :'D

IDIOTS. All because of Sehran's sudden obsession with twerking wth. Pity Lynn, she was damn traumatised -_____-

We were getting too loud by then (my parents had already went to bed), so we had to move into my room. Played Mafia for a bit moreeeeeeee & then Evo had to leave. Oh oh here's something stupid: when it was my turn to be the Mafia, I winked at Matt & in a split second, he caught me & Shman. Turns out Matt was the cop, and Shman was my partner, & we both winked at him in a matter of seconds. HAHAHAHAHAHA :'P The game had barely began & we had already lost, such bad partnership :P

Even playing Mafia we were noisy heh. 

L to R: CNY '13, Malacca '13, BBQ '14

A tired Leek :3

After a while, we got tired of Mafia & started playing truth-or-dare instead. That, however, is only between us. We also had our usual open talk, and the secrets we learned that night were mind-blowing. At one point Shman even pulled me aside & I don't think I'll ever forget our little conversation hahah. Everyone was quite tak puas hati with us but oh well. 

Lynn & Matt left at around 4.50am, and then the rest of us just talked the rest of the night (day) away. We talked about growing up, about staying together, etc etc & then things got a little emotional. My parents always talk about how, no matter how close friends are, you'll slowly grow distant as life gets in the way. We talked about that & how we wanted to keep this bestfriendship going & how much it meant to us & all. Gah makes me sad just thinking about it. But well, I have faith in us. That we're gonna make this friendship work for us :')

Our meetup finally ended at 6.15am- we dragged it as long as we could, I think because we all knew that this would be the last meetup we'd have together as a whole till God only knows when. We stayed throughout all the phone calls & naggings from parents heh heh. WHAT IS SLEEP. 

With my guys!

& Sarah :)

We were the last ones standing woot wooooooot! :D

I was still feeling okay, but once everyone left, exhaustion kicked in & my whole body just felt really heavy & I felt like I could've fallen asleep on my feet. Busied myself cleaning up so I wouldn't fall asleep. At 7.15am, Shman came over & off we went to KFung's to pick him up (we were sending him off to the bus station).

Went for mamak for breakfast & we talked some more over breakfast- I hope the general public couldn't hear our conversation, cuz it was so inappropriate hahahah. Couldn't eat much cuz I was feeling a little nauseous ugh. 

After breakfast, drove KFung to the bus station. Had to stop at the side of the road on the way there to put on Shman's hoodie because I was shivering (it wasn't even cold >_____> ). So yeah, I finally learned that if I don't get sleep, I:

1. Get super nauseous

2. Feel super cold 

Thankfully, we arrived at the bus station safely. KFung collected his tickets and we teman-ed him as he waited for his departure time. Got seats in Dunkin Donuts & we just sat there talking eventhough we were all so sleepy hahahah. 

& then the time came for Shman & I to leave. Took a few more pictures, 

We ish sad D:

& then KFung walked us to the lifts. & then it hit & I felt sad like hell cuz I won't see him for another 9/10 months. Sad sad sad so sad even typing this now #emo.Anywaaaays, we hugged goodbye & missed the first lift hahahah. Took the opportunity to get another hug (love hugs!) & then we really had to leave :( It was damn drama la, typical Korean drama elevator lift separation scene, y'know. 

The stupid thing was, once we got to the parking, Shman went, 'I need to pee.' -______- Dongdong. Downstairs tadi ada toilet bukan nak pergi -_____- He tried looking around the parking area to see if there were toilets, but since when to parking areas have toilets >____> So we had to take the lift down again. In the lift, we were talking about how, if the lift doors opened & we saw KFung again & we'd be like, 'We had to see you one more time' HAHAHA. We knew it was ridiculous la, but part of us were hopinggggg. But then the lift doors opened & KFung wasn't there #emo. So while walking to the toilet, we silently scanned the area looking for him. We knew we were both doing it heh, so tak lah embarassing sangat. But still no sign of KFung #evenmoreemo :'(

Shman drove home afterwards & it was an interesting drive hahaha. We were both so tired :S But we made a pact (putting this here in case one day I forget, which I doubt I will, but still) & we decided how to upgrade our friendship level again HAHAHAHA. 

Reached home, took a shower & while waiting for my parents to go out for lunch, I fell asleep. When my mum woke me up, I was so annoyed omg (not at her, I was just really grouchy cuz I was still exhausted). Instead of heading to lunch, we went to the hospital instead to visit my cousin who just had surgery for appendicitis. She's okay, thank God :) After that, went to makan cuz I was hungry. Headed home after that, and once we reached home, I went upstairs, planning to sleep. Instead, FT-ed KFung then Oovoo-ed with him & Shman for a bit. 

Got really really tired mid-call, so went to sleep & literally knocked out heh. 

& well, that's all!

And I forget about you to forget long enough to forget why I needed to

Ending with this song because; feelings I thought were long gone because I'd so deeply buried them, had recently resurfaced, this time with a vengeance. Sigh.