Basically, it's gotten me thinking about who I was at 13, and all the things I wish I knew then. And so begins my so-called letter.
....................................................................
Dear 13-year-old Jas,
HAHAHAHA this is weird. Why did I even think of doing this again? Okay okay, I'll try & do this properly. Let's restart.
Hi. It's 19-year-old you here. Bet you're wondering how I we turned out, right? Well, I guess we turned out okay. We're now studying at the University of Leicester, UK. Jengjengjenggggg, I bet you didn't expect that! You always thought that Australia, or New Zealand would be the place for you. So much for that, hahah. It's a long story (not really) how that changed, but you'll find out yourself soon enough. As for what we're studying, we've finally decided on Medicine.
You know what, let's skip the chitchat & get straight down to business. I honestly don't know how to start, but yet there's so many things I wish I could tell you. I could go on and on, paragraph after paragraph, but that would probably be going too far. So yeaaaaaah, let's make a list. I quite like lists now, fyi. Hahahah.
1. Things are going to be okay. Cliche, I know, but very, very important that you hold on to this. In the next few years, you're going to go through a lot. It's going to hurt badly, and there are going to be many, many days where all you want to do is curl up in bed and cry, and that's alright. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to not be okay- as long as you keep your head up & stay strong, because you will get through it all, & the sun's gonna shine again!
2. You're amazing just the way you are. I know sometimes you feel like you've to change, to be someone different so maybe, maybe, more people will like you, or etc. That's not necessary. You don't need others' approval- just keep being you, keep doing what you're doing. You're gonna be a fine lady, if I may say so myself ;)
3. I know how you look at yourself in the mirror & how you hate what you see, but believe me: you are indeed beautiful. And you're not fat. I think I need to repeat myself on that point: YOU'RE NOT FAT. You have to stop thinking that- throw that mindset out of the window, now. You're gorgeous, love- and if you won't believe anyone else, believe me, believe yourself. You're not a typical beauty, but that doesn't mean you're any less attractive than anyone else. Love yourself, please.
4. You don't always have to be the best. As this point, this is mainly going to apply to your studies, but same goes for other aspects as well. I know you've been brought up to always want to come first, to always be Number 1. That's fine, but it's okay even if you aren't. In this life, there's always going to be people better than you, and that's just something you've to learn to accept. Competitiveness is fine, but don't let it overwhelm you. As long as you've tried your best, that's good enough.
5. Believe in yourself. You ARE good enough. There's no point in others believing in you if you don't do it for yourself.
6. Hold on to God. I know you're not the strongest believer in God right now, but you'll find yourself drawing close to him soon enough. He's going to show himself in ways you never imagined. No matter what you do, always remember Him. Whether you're up or down, He's always gonna be your constant, He'll always be by your side. Draw closer and keep seeking Him.
7. Don't just believe what the world tells you. Just because everyone believes in something, doesn't mean you have to as well. Learn to see and analyse things for yourself, then come up with your own ideas and opinions. They don't always have to concur with what everyone else thinks.
8. Appreciate the people around you- they aren't going to be around forever. Spend more time with your family & friends while you still can- being miles away surely takes that away from you. Take the time to tell them how you feel, and don't be afraid to look stupid while doing so.
9. You're going to hate hearing this, but mummy and daddy are right. Not always, but in most things, they are. You probably think I've gone nuts, but trust me, I haven't. As you grow older, you'll come to see things their way. '
10. Do what makes you happy. Read. Sing. Write. Hang out with your friends. Eat. :P
11. Listen before you speak. Other people's words, their thoughts? They're just as valuable as yours.
12. You're never going to be able to please everyone.
13. You don't need that blade, put it down. It's not going to help- a temporary fix isn't going to solve your problem. Talk to your friends- Lynn, Jannah & Evo. They'll be more help, more than that blade can ever be.
14. Your smile is your best accessory. Plenty of people are gonna tell you that, but I want you to know that now. Bring that with you, wherever you go, wherever you are.
15. Do things because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. If you can't do it whole-heartedly, maybe it's best to not do it at all.
16. The world isn't always perfect, life doesn't always go the way we want it, people aren't always good. Don't let all that, make you hard. Keep seeing the positive side in things, that's the way to go :)
17. You're gonna meet a guy named Shman in Form 3. You're right, he is indeed a nerd.
18. Every relationship requires effort. If you don't put in effort, it'll just die off. You've to keep trying, keep fighting, to keep it alive.
19. You're gonna be in relationships, and while you're in them, you're gonna think you're in love. When you actually do fall in love, it's different. You'll know.
& more here.
Aaaaaand that's all for now, I guess. I hope, when you feel unsure or insecure or whatever it is, you'll take another look at this letter and it'll give you the boost you need. Not that you need any, actually. You did fine without this in the first place, hahahah.
As for me, I wish I could say that I've it all figured out. But that's not the case. There are days when I feel like I'm merely playing at being an adult, but maybe that's how everyone feels, & maybe that's how you get there.
Love,
19-year-old Jas
2. You're amazing just the way you are. I know sometimes you feel like you've to change, to be someone different so maybe, maybe, more people will like you, or etc. That's not necessary. You don't need others' approval- just keep being you, keep doing what you're doing. You're gonna be a fine lady, if I may say so myself ;)
3. I know how you look at yourself in the mirror & how you hate what you see, but believe me: you are indeed beautiful. And you're not fat. I think I need to repeat myself on that point: YOU'RE NOT FAT. You have to stop thinking that- throw that mindset out of the window, now. You're gorgeous, love- and if you won't believe anyone else, believe me, believe yourself. You're not a typical beauty, but that doesn't mean you're any less attractive than anyone else. Love yourself, please.
4. You don't always have to be the best. As this point, this is mainly going to apply to your studies, but same goes for other aspects as well. I know you've been brought up to always want to come first, to always be Number 1. That's fine, but it's okay even if you aren't. In this life, there's always going to be people better than you, and that's just something you've to learn to accept. Competitiveness is fine, but don't let it overwhelm you. As long as you've tried your best, that's good enough.
5. Believe in yourself. You ARE good enough. There's no point in others believing in you if you don't do it for yourself.
6. Hold on to God. I know you're not the strongest believer in God right now, but you'll find yourself drawing close to him soon enough. He's going to show himself in ways you never imagined. No matter what you do, always remember Him. Whether you're up or down, He's always gonna be your constant, He'll always be by your side. Draw closer and keep seeking Him.
7. Don't just believe what the world tells you. Just because everyone believes in something, doesn't mean you have to as well. Learn to see and analyse things for yourself, then come up with your own ideas and opinions. They don't always have to concur with what everyone else thinks.
8. Appreciate the people around you- they aren't going to be around forever. Spend more time with your family & friends while you still can- being miles away surely takes that away from you. Take the time to tell them how you feel, and don't be afraid to look stupid while doing so.
9. You're going to hate hearing this, but mummy and daddy are right. Not always, but in most things, they are. You probably think I've gone nuts, but trust me, I haven't. As you grow older, you'll come to see things their way. '
10. Do what makes you happy. Read. Sing. Write. Hang out with your friends. Eat. :P
11. Listen before you speak. Other people's words, their thoughts? They're just as valuable as yours.
12. You're never going to be able to please everyone.
13. You don't need that blade, put it down. It's not going to help- a temporary fix isn't going to solve your problem. Talk to your friends- Lynn, Jannah & Evo. They'll be more help, more than that blade can ever be.
14. Your smile is your best accessory. Plenty of people are gonna tell you that, but I want you to know that now. Bring that with you, wherever you go, wherever you are.
15. Do things because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. If you can't do it whole-heartedly, maybe it's best to not do it at all.
16. The world isn't always perfect, life doesn't always go the way we want it, people aren't always good. Don't let all that, make you hard. Keep seeing the positive side in things, that's the way to go :)
17. You're gonna meet a guy named Shman in Form 3. You're right, he is indeed a nerd.
18. Every relationship requires effort. If you don't put in effort, it'll just die off. You've to keep trying, keep fighting, to keep it alive.
19. You're gonna be in relationships, and while you're in them, you're gonna think you're in love. When you actually do fall in love, it's different. You'll know.
& more here.
Aaaaaand that's all for now, I guess. I hope, when you feel unsure or insecure or whatever it is, you'll take another look at this letter and it'll give you the boost you need. Not that you need any, actually. You did fine without this in the first place, hahahah.
As for me, I wish I could say that I've it all figured out. But that's not the case. There are days when I feel like I'm merely playing at being an adult, but maybe that's how everyone feels, & maybe that's how you get there.
Love,
19-year-old Jas
