THROUGH TIME

i'm on my knees, begging,
begging - please come home,
such a long time has past,
and i'm left here all alone.
i've missed you,
i've cried for you,
but my tears are all in vain.

i can wish,
to turn back time,
to just forget,
but the scars still remain,
i can wish for them to leave,
but alas- wishes can't come true,
scars are a part of us,
even as time passes by.
they're reminders of our past,
keeping all the pain,
and hiding them deep inside.

oh, how i wish,
things hadn't turned out this way,
i wouldn't have fallen,
i wouldn't have lost this fight,
my last chance of hope,
dashed.
oh, why am i always the fool?

the facts are too clear to ignore,
i've loved you, but i wanted more,
sorry to say,
i guess i give up.

everyone should learn,
to let go,
to finally wake up,
to learn to surrender.
no matter how much i try,
what i wanted ,
has always been and
always will be,
just far out of my reach.

so,
goodbye,
i'll be leaving.

-jas-

what if things never changed? what if they stayed the same? what would have happened then? would things still be the same? would they turn worse? would you had turned your back on me? would you have been true? would you have lied? cheated? would things ever be the same between us? everything might seem the same, but there is some distance between us, didn't you notice? things aren't the same anymore. would i still have lost you? would i have looked for someone new, and lost? if you would turn back time, would you change , or even cancel out that moment? or would you savor it?

tambisssss !!
tambi-fier for sale,
while stocks last. :D

first come, first serve.

i think i nak beli oneeee laaa :D

GOODBYE.

- RANDOMNESS -

JANNAHHHHH
EELYNNNNN
LEEEKINGGG
EVOOONIAAA
JASSSSLYN. haha, myself?

gosssssh :D

tambis, i'm boreddddd =.="

AND HUNGRY :D
i nak sweeeeets?

the world is all wrong. i'm hungry, but i dont wanna eat. i'm tired , but i can't rest. all i wanna do is puke. after all this time , where everything has begun to change, i'm still stuck in reverse while others are moving forward. i do the same things everyday, its become a routine. i'm bored, and i'm sick of life. i wish things were different and i wish i hadn't met you. you make my life miserable, and i guess thats why i can't move on. i wish i were someone else, someone who doesn't have such a sensitive personality. i just keep turning back, keep looking over my shoulder, to check back on things that i have done. i keep being this way, and why? for what? cause i'm stuck with you. i can't move on. i'm missing out on everything, i'm missing out on things i wanna do, things that i should do. i'm missing you too much, but you aren't the same anymore. you've changed. everyone's changed. so why can't i just learn from my mistakes??

TAMBI!!

hello, tambis :)
its a longg time since i blogged,
well, not THAT long anyway.
gossssh, finally we finished our filming,
and its gile funny kay?

jas - jml's mum? gosssh
lynn - matchmaker
evo - jml's sis
jnnh - jml's wife :) yayyy
leeking - lan
nafis - jml , haha :D
amir - filming-er? director, kotttt. (:

and i've been really emo this week, pissed.
something different comes up every single frigging day just to make me pissed.
people make me pissed. things make me pissed. everything makes me pissed.

- life is unfair, death is unfair, everything is never fair - jess :D

i'm really really really pissed, but i dont think anyone really understands why,
and i'm hungry, really hungry.
thanks to everyone who offered me sweets just now :D
yes, you, nafis . thank you , kay? :)
tambi. even dash is emo. and the both of us shld get an award for the 1st people in the world to play table-chess,which he won. IT HURTS MY EYES. DUHHHHH.

officially, i'm a prefect :D
and i'm gonna get my name all over the toilets, ( hopefully not )
lee is already starting on his " i hate all prefects" rampage. gossssh.

lynn, evo , and leeking,
the doggie, baboon, and king kong,
pleaseeeee, ibegyou. STOP ARGUING, JUST FOR ONE DAYYYY !! PLEASEEE? :D haha.
even cikgu din asks u to - CEPAT PERGI KAHWIN LAAAA !!

i guess thats all. i'm so lazy,
and did i mention? i lost the spelling thingy. 5th place.
JANNAH, CONGRATS!!

ehh, people.
buy a tambi-fier, it does absolutely nothing - but it smells nice.

a quote from an unfortunate buyer, miss nadia -
I BOUGHT THIS TAMBI-FIER FOR SO MUCH MONEY , AND IT DOESN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING?
TAMBI !!!!

let me think, what else did i do this week?
uhh, there was that time which lynn brought her eyeliner to school, and evonia made jnnh her , uhh, tester?
and GODDDDD, U WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED.
JANNAH, YOU LOOKED LIKE A, GHOST ! SERIOUSLY.
and pastu jabb tried on mee pulak :D
but it turned out okay, yayyy !! ahha :)
thank you, jabb (:

lazy to typeeee laaaa :/
nafisssss !!! u tambi !!!!
GOODBYE, TAMBIS. :D

school is back. =.=

hah.
tmrw is back-to-school AGAIN.
FINALLY. after the mosttt boring week of my lifeeee :/
except for a few days ,
gahhh. finally back to school.
i wanna meeet everyoneeeee :)
i wanna play chess with nafis !! :D
talk crap and be crazy, with evo, lynn, and jnnh (;
do anything i want !!
YAYYY !! :D

would you...??

i had a dream,
when i woke up, i saw something , and i thought of you.
would you ever do that to me? would you ever break those little pieces of my heart, which already have been broken? would you turn away from me, never to face me again? would you give me your last word, never to speak to me again? would you smile one last time? would you cry for the first time? would you leave me in the dark, never knowing? would you tell, or would you not? would you look at me with disgust, or would you be filled with pity? would you hate me, when all this ends? would you ever hold my hand again? would you ever think of me again? and when you did, would you miss me? would you miss my presence, even when you would have found someone new? would you be there when i need to be comforted? would you still try to understand? would you forget me, or remember me still? would you just leave, walking out of my life, one day? would you?, i wonder...

u know whatttt?
I AM SO PISSED.
we have to do our filming all over again.
and i had to call everyone SO MANY FREAKING TIMES, CAUSE THE PLAN KEPT CHANGING.
PISSED, YOU KNOW PISSED?!!
who wouldn't be?!!

gossssh, i can't believe this group of people are my best friends !!
AHHA. :)

filming day :)

yesterday was tiring, stressing, but fun. ( kinda ) :/
filming day :)
i spent 2 hrs LATE NIGHT planning everything, and i had to call everyone at least 5 times, to cancel, not cancel, cancel again, etc. GOSHHH.
lynn and evo were already at my hse at 9 am. gosssh, so early. then , we waited for the guys, they were supposed to be at my hse at 10.30 , but nafis arrived 1st , 15 minutes late ! then, amir came. leeking came at 11.50!! 1 HOUR AND 20 MINUTES LATE because of his mum? :/ omg, when he came, everyone was like -- LEEKING'S GONNA DIEEEE !

then, my mum came back. with kfc. gossh, so we had early lunch. and during lunch , nafis was likeeee - " OMG ADE FAT !! " andddd he passed it to leeking , who passed back. and so , the passing around started. =.='' after that, we started filming. everyone had to change, gossh. evo, lynn , and i had to wear baju kurung/kebaya, and nafis and amir wore their.. baju melayu (: nafis hottttt XD haha. ohh yeah, THE CAST :-

nafis - jamal :)
leeking - lan?
jas - jamal's MUM , godddd.
lynn - jamal's sis
evo - jamal's WIFE. YAYY !!
jnnh - narrator?
amir - side characters :) haha.

okie dokie, so you have it, the cast of " BUNGA TELUR AND BALLY SHOES" !! gahh, after EVERYTHING, gossssh, so many vids to upload, and then , gahh, i dont wanna say :/


MORE PROBLEMS. GODDDD.

you wanna know the most embarassing thing?
here goes.
i went to tesco with my family yesterday,
and of all things , my leg hurt like frigging hell, so i had to sit in the damn trolley!
fckityfckityfck.
and guess what?
i met fahmy, and some form 4/5's .
talk about embarassing. gahhh !!

MY LIFE IS OVER.
NO MORE DIGNITY :/

gossh, i'm already starting to miss everyone laa :/
all because of the holidays,
gahhh.
kml, i miss you the MOSTTT !!
why aren't you in my english group?!!!!!!!!
i need the filming crew, i'm so boredddd =.="

i'm so pissed with someone, but i won't say who.
gahh, so pissed offf !!

OMG, THE STRESS OF EXAMS IS FINALLY OVERRRRR !! YAYYY !!
gahh, i'm super tired, okay?
i only slept a total of 9 hrs in 3 days. all because i slaved, studying.
sleep at 12, wake up at 3.
kamal and nafis were supposed to teman me early today morning, but they didn't wake up.
HHMPH. :/
whats more? i got kamal's virus from yesterday,
and now i'm sniffling everywhere.
he was sneezing, sneezing , and sneezing in class and it affected so many of us.
me, nafis, etc.
GAHHH !! shidddt you,kamal suria,
i lovee you , but i hateee your flu.
my dearrrr kml suria (;
ohh gosshh, exam is so stressing.

let me think happy stuff :)
the happiest look on kamal's face when the door flew back at him,
because hanging at the door was haziq's bag,
filled with RAISINS. YES, RAISINS.

leeking makes me pissed.
call him 5-10 times, no reply. even when i shout , gahh...

gahh, holidays. i miss everyone already. :/

see? leeking is mysterious laa, kamal !! NOT MEEE !!

haziq lovessss scaring me.
jumping out from behind me like the hantu pocong ? ( sorry if wrong spelling (; ]

i lovee leeking's and kamal's tieeee !!
ohh loveeeee ittt <33

gahh, i'm boreddd. i wanna whack kamal and nafis.
3 days without chess, gahh.

yayyy !!
kamal doesn't hateee meeee (;
but he still thinks i'm one of his NEW STALKERS.
I'M NOTTTT !!

but still,
i hateee myself.
DAMN!
i wanna walk normally, i mean, NORMALLY.
like the way you guys walk.
i'm like a fool, okay, a moronic fool, walking that way. ];
so pisseeddddd. =.=''

lynn,
ming jet is NICE , okay.
except that just A LITTLE GAY.
a little.
and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY , AUDREY!!
say thnk you to hilal (;

WTF?!!

WTH? WTF?
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LUCK.
OF ALL THINGS, *SIGH*

my cast is finally off, (hurray)
BUT. i forgot how to walk, and my leg hurts when i walk.
i mean, REALLY HURTS.
OUCH.

but u know what the best part is that -
KAMAL HATES ME, *sobsob*
DONT YOU KAMAL?
HHMPH. I HATEEE YOUUU TOOOOO.
SEE IF I CARE! =.=

SHIDDDTTT. HAH. HIT ME IF YOU DARE.

JUST PERFECT.

you know?
i never thought that watching kamal and nafis play chess would be fun.
but it is, REALLY. you know why?

1. i get to slap them , HARD, when they curse,
2. i get to watch their reactions when they LOSEEEEE :)
3. i just lovee watching them, for no reason ;P
why not? its fun laaa !

evo and i kannn, just now we were talking about ...
talking about.. should i say? SAY LAA.
hmm, what each certain guy should change about themselves to be perfect !!
omg , that was crazy, and we weren't even discreet !!
i think nafis heard everything, thats why he kept turning around and giving us " THE LOOK "
ahha, nafis and kamal are just perfect,
JUST PERFECT.

tissues, kamal? do you need one? :)
leeking is STUPID. STUPIDDDDD !!
I HATE YOU LEEKING !! XD

kml, YOU ARE PERFECT,
AND YOU ARE ALL MINEEE !!

ohh yeah, reminder.
kamal and nafis, remember your promises !!
YOU PROMISED ME NOT TO CURSE TOMORROW !!
okayokay?

GAYYYY , tuition GAYYY

OMG !!
mrs. ho's tuition yesterday was GAY, okay .
seriously GAYYYYY.
firstly, the leg-kicking, which i started cause zee's leg was disturbing meee !!!
so i KICKED IT. OUCH. and he YELLED. hahahaha.
pastu, teck shen's leg, STEPSTEPSTEP. OWWWW, i know that hurt. ;D
then, i asked lynn to join , and started stepping on wai kit's legs tooo !! ohh super funn,
but they got their revengeeeeee =.=''

and then we learned about - lembu punya susu, sapi dapat nama.
i translated it into : the cow's milk , the fat get the name. OHH BODOH GILEE.
the next thing we knew , mrs. ho said :

" TECK SHEN BERSUSAH PAYAH MEMBUAT SUSU "
OMG HAHAHAH.
GILEEE BETUL.
then the conversation changed into " boys can make milk "
" boys can get pregnant "
" boys can this, boys can that "

omg, teck shen was like " IF I HAD A BABY, WHERE WOULD IT COME OUT FROM? THE C*CK?!! "
pastu mrs.ho said " DON'T SAY C*CK OR D*CK , JUST SAY PENIS !! "
GAHHHH !!
and teck shen was like ,,, OKAY ! IF I HAVE A PENIS AND A VAGINA, WHICH I DONT "

OHH BODOH GILAAAA, I LAUGHED UNTIL I CRIED , OKAY?
IT WAS GAYYYY.
LALALA.

GOSHHH, *DIE*

AHAH,
IJUSTNEEDTOTELLYOUGUYSABTMYDAY.

hmm, MONDAY.
--- aww, kamal tak datang. no fairrr !! i was just wanting to hit him , UNFAIRRR !!

ahah, TUESDAY !!
aww, kamal didn't come again. i'm starting to miss him already.
wait, did i just admit that i miss kamal?
OHNOO. THINGS ARE GOING WRONG. ;P

soooo, uhh, ohyeah.
at the library kan,
i was talking to hzq abt going to mount kinabalu tau,
and haziq was MEAN !! MEANNNN !! he was like " your leg like that? HAH ! "
ALAAA, MEANNNN!! HHMPH.
and that stupid f*cking araleno, that mean BITCH.
she tried to halau us from the library, but we didn't budge, i know you hate us laa,
why dont u just get the guts to say it !!

and then, omg, why do i keep bumping into hazwan today?
evonia's *PUSHES* and *FALLS* , zi kent's *ACCIDENTAL* kicks,
and lee's " jaslyn, give me your hand "
and he put it around hazwan's shoulder.
wthwth?
i dont even like hazwan !! sheesh, even leeking said that its obvious.
whats so obvious?!!!!
gahhhh.

kamal, ineedyouineedyou !!
SERIOUSLY.

ohyeah,
during recess, leeking, me, lynn, and jnnh,
talked abt " cawans" . exactly, "cawans"
stupid thing to talk about, GROSS.
and jannah laughed so hard, she fell off the chair , AGAIN.
gosshhh.

omg, hazwan's " miss me? "
is THE CAUSE of these troubles !! ARGHHH.

heheh :)
I MIGHT NOT COME TO SCHOOL TMRW.
HATEE THE STUPID DOCTOR.

gahhhh !!

today was boring !!
arrghh, i even slept in class !!
i mean, jaslyn, sleeping in class?
OMG. un-imaginable..
and , of all days, kamal didn't come today,
alaaaaaaaaaa...
nofunnofun. =.=''

FUN'D GALOREEEE !!

omg !!
fun'd galore yesterday was fun pulakk !!
but definitely tiring.
my leg is aching from walking around selling the muffins,
and i lost all of my coupons worth 14bucks !
FISHHHH !!

i wonder how, one minute it was there,
the other minute it wasn't..
shidtttt.

okay, i went to school as usual.
so when i reached i saw lynn, and then i got lost.
"where's our class?" =.=''
BLURR.
turns out , the food stall was at the canteen,
so walked there pulak.
and then we laid out the muffins ,
oh the GLORIOUS, HOLY MUFFINS !!
*which jannah, lynn, and i baked*
>>>> best ohh bake muffins !! FUNNN !!

and thennnn , uhhh.
so i helped to sell stuff at the stall,
and walked around selling muffins,
yang agak laris dijual.
and thennnnnn, help out at the stall ,
HELPHELPHELPHELPOUT..
and then ,uhh , i can't remember.
i just remember going to class,...
ohyeahohyeah,
i saw abang-ku, and abang hafiz, and abg .. something ..
walking with jannah to sell muffins,
and suddenly i heard someone jerit " jaslyn! ". so i pusing and saw them
pastu kena lecture abt my leg. ahha.
pastupastu, went to classsss and played TWISTER !!
i mean, REALLY, ORANG CACAT PLAYING TWISTER!!
gahhh !!
gileeeeeeee kannn? ;D
because of lynn and ming jiet, i got my hand at leeking's ASS.
REALLYREALLY GROSSSSSSSS.
ughhhh. i dont want to describe it anymoreeee.
and people took PICTURES. REALLY, PICTURES? GODDDDD.
and then we had to stop, cause hazwan saw blood,
i wonder who's leg/hand/or whatever was bleeding.
not mee. i went back and checked , nopee.

OHH i think thats all i did.
cause i couldn't do anything else, orang cacat maaaa :)

wait. zee said something abt "YOUR hazwan"
SHIDTTTT YOUUUU ZEEEEE !!