Don't understand why I'm putting myself through this. Self-inflicted torture at it's best.

When I used to cut, I did it so the physical pain could mask the emotional pain I was feeling. With this problem I'm having with my eyes now, I realise how ridiculous that reason was. How you're feeling emotionally doesn't just disappear because of the physical pain. Instead, you now have two types of pain to deal with instead of one. It's stupid to think otherwise.

Ps. For those of you who don't know, yes, I used to self-harm. I'm not proud of it, but I've reached that point where I'm okay with admitting to it because it's something that I've learnt from. 

Book Quotes: The Fault in Our Stars- John Green

This post is gonna a bit weird, because it's gonna be something new hahah. I'm creating a new tag for quotes and lines from books I read that I like, or find interesting.This is mainly for my own purposes, but go ahead & read on if you'd like! :)

Pg 7

I went to Support Group for the same reason that I'd once allowed nurses with a mere eighteen months of graduate education to poison me with exotically named chemicals: I wanted to make my parents happy. There is only one thing in this world shittier than biting it from cancer when you're sixteen, and that's having a kid who bites it from cancer.

Pg 12

There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this, will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it's millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of the sun, we will not survive forever. There was a time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be a time after.

Pg 16

I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago to not deny myself the simple pleasures of existence.

Pg 20

It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing. 

Pg 37

Right, that's why I said tomorrow. I want to see you again tonight. But  I'm willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow. 

Pg 60-61

'Sometimes people don't understand the promise they're making when they make them.'

'Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.'

Pg 63

That's the thing about pain- it demands to be felt. 

Pg 72

I almost felt like he was there in my rom wit me, but in a way it was better, like I was not in my room and he was not in his, but instead we were together in some invisible and tenuous third space that could only be visited on the phone.

Pg 125

As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

Pg 139

The weird thing about houses is that they almost always look like nothing is happening inside of them, even though they contain most of our lives. 

Pg 153

I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasures of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and  I am in love with you. 

Pg 157

- And in freedom, most people find sin.

Pg 164

People always get used to beauty, though. 

Pg 204

For who so firm that cannot be seduced? *Originally Shakespeare

Pg 213

Most of my life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of people who loved me, so I knew what Augustus was doing. You clench your teeth. You look up. You tell yourself that if they see you cry, it will hurt them, and you will be nothing but A Sadness is their lives, and you must not become a mere sadness, so you will not cry, and you say all this to yourself while looking up at the ceiling, and then you swallow even though your throat does not want to close and you look at the person who loves you and smile.

Pg 311(a)

The marks humans leave are often scars.

Pg 311(b)

My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations.

I can't even put into words, how exhausted I am.