Separation Anxiety?

It's tomorrow.

In two days' time, I'll wake up in a completely different room, and it'll be another 9 months till I wake up in my own room once again.

I know it may not seem that I'm excited about leaving, but trust me, I am. Some people who really want to go but for some reason, aren't going, may think that it's such a waste that I got the chance to go instead of them - they're more excited to go. I know, because that's how I used to think. Shame on me, gr. Truthfully, I AM excited. It's just that excitement is overshadowed by many other emotions, mainly loneliness and sadness at leaving.

I've been going through the motions of leaving, but it's never really hit me the way it did. In the past few days, I've said many 'see you soon's, and each one hurt a little more than the last.

Why am I even leaving?

I've a beautiful family and such amazing friends. It really makes you dig deep, wondering if you're crazy to leave all this stability behind, to go to some completely foreign area ten thousands of kilometres away.

And speaking of friends, (Sehran will kill me for this), what I have ever done to deserve such amazing friends?

Throughout my life, I've been blessed with many, many great friends. But nothing, and I mean nothing, can ever replace the mafia gang. They've been my rock(s) through many tough times, and the way the know me inside and out, no one can else can ever do that.

Which was why it was so hard to see them for what we knew would be our last for another 9 months. By them, I mean

Leek,

Hari,

and Sehran. 

It broke my heart, seeing them leave. After Sehran went off I just couldn't stop crying, what more when I read the scrapbook he made me. Frigging sad

Can't wait for tmrw, for that new start. And at the same time, I just want time to slow down. 

I don't know how to end this.