okay. 2009 just plain sucks. so many things have happened in just 3 months, many of which i would like just not to remember. thinking of those little things, i remember all the pain and all the hurt. not only mine, but others' too. you pies know what i'm talking about.

is life a game? if it is, when will it end? just when you're thinking that you're happy, something comes and your world is just ripped apart. when you think you know everything there is to know, someone comes and tells you something that you don't know, something you don't want to know.

life, as i put it, is like a rose. it seems so beautiful at first, and you reach out and touch it. then, as you feel the thorns, you pull back quickly. you fear of getting hurt again, so you avoid it. some people grow out of that fear, and they learn and try again. some people are just too scarred to try.
i'm one of those strong ones, hopefully.

isn't that how life is? one good thing comes, and it's always overshadowed by something terrible. why why why?? everything seems so problematic nowadays, it's hard to just get up. sometimes i just want to sleep, and never wake up again. but thenn,..

"do you ever feel like breaking down

do you ever feel out of place

like somehow you just don't belong

and no one understands you?

do you ever wanna run away

do you lock yourself in your room

with the radio on turned up so loud

that no one hears you screaming?

welcome to my life."

but maybe its just a phase? maybe maybe maybe ):

i hardly think so.

and lynn, i am happy, kay? don't worry.

i just need some time. i need to try,

just let things pass.

just let them pass..

" a record is meant to be played,

not broken "